A day of my life

What has been going on in my life this summer

2010-11-21T18:18:00.000-08:00

This past summer has been hard. Can't really out my finger on one thing. There were just countless things. I finished up the play The Music Man in which I was one of the Pic-a-little ladies and my mom played Mrs. Paroo. This play brought back memories from High School. My senior year we did this and I was a Pic-a-little lady in that too. Oh and to make it more odd was I had the same lines as I did 17 years prior. My mom did such a good job with her part. She even did a fabulous Irish accent. The downfall was that as in the past we had time backstage to be together whereas during this one we saw each other only in passing. We also closed Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. I was one of the wives and was the angel in the hoedown song. That was fun. It showed people that I have a voice.

In early September we buried my maternal Grandma. The Thursday before Labor Day I went to the nursing home where she was and visited for just a bit. I remember she was sleeping and was laughing in her sleep and calling out to her mom. When she woke she looked at me and said "Love April" That one phrase brought tears to my eyes and such love for someone who was always there for me when I needed it. Then the Sunday before Labor Day my uncle called and said that there wasn't much time left. After such a long seeming battle she finally passed on Labor Day. There were other details of that day that are just to precious to share. I am just glad that she will be part of my eternal family and I will see her again.

The next play we are doing is A Grand Night for Singing. I have two song solos and then little snippets in two other songs. I am still waiting to like this one. My double is the worst one I have ever had. She made me miss Zoey's 4th birthday party because she was selfish. She said she wanted to go to her wards talent show that they do every six months. No one at the theater could believe that she would do that. That is the lamest excuse. Her others were that she is singing in church. I asked to switch a couple of Sunday's with me because one of them I am teaching the Relief Society lesson and she was all " I am singing that day" My ass. No one sings solos every freaking Sunday. She is pissed because she didn't put the Chorale Christmas concert dates as conflict dates when she auditioned and I won't trade with her. I have also heard that she wants me to trade her so I do the show on News Years Eve instead of her. Well too bad. I have plans for that night.

One of the happy things is that I have been chosen to work on a special project at work that I will be responsible from here on out. Hopefully it will include more money because I need that right now more than anything. I know that money doesn't buy happiness but it sure make paying bills on time a whole lot easier.

What a time

2010-04-20T18:40:00.000-07:00

Ok so the last time I blogged was probably last week but that I didn't really have time to write. Work is going ok. I hate being on the phones all the time. Today I was trained on live chat. I really like it. At least I have a job whereas some do not.

Apparently in the beginning of May I am going to a slumber party. Never been to one of those kinds of slumber parties. I figure I need to live a little and do things just for fun. Maybe then I won't get all blushy. Jane said that I could bring my mom if I felt comfortable. That is like taking her to a strip bar. So this is one party that I will be going to all by myself.

This past Saturday mom , Amy and I went shopping out at Centerra. First we stopped at Macy's to see if we could find some shirts for the Jesters Sneak Peek. After that we went to Bath and Bodyworks for some lotion. Oh at Macy's Amy and I bought sassy bras. Mine is brown with polka-dots and hers is black with some red and some other color. Then we went to Victoria Secret to look there. Well when we were in the corner Amy was looking at a bra and wasn't sure if it would fit. Mom told her to try it on in the dressing room but she didn't really want to so mom suggested trying it on over her clothes. So that is what she did. She lifted up her sweatshirt and tried it on over her t-shirt. Funny thing was that there was a security camera right above us.

After that we had voice lessons where I found the song I am going to sing for my Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat audition. I am also working on my piece for my recital that is this Sunday. I am singing On My Own. Not gonna put what I am using for my audition piece just yet.

Been a long time

2010-04-15T12:32:00.000-07:00

So it has been forever since I wrote in my blog. Been kinda busy doing plays and having chorale concerts. This past week we performed Verde's Requiem with the Longmont Symphony Orchestra and the Longmont Chorale. Still not a fan of the music. My feet always hurt after a concert but this was worse. The soloist songs were long and slow and in Latin. AAAARRRRRGGGGHHH!

Haley Marie Hart made her appearance on March 4th. Big sister is loving it. She is adorable. I have pictures posted on my facebook account but if you are not one of my friends you are out of luck at seeing the pictures. Got tired of others being able to see things and bug me. I love that you can choose who you want to be able to view your profile.

Music Man rehearsals have started. I am a picalittle lady and my mom is Mrs. Paroo, Marians's mother. She wanted that role. It is fun watching her learn her lines with an irish accent. We are both having fun.

Still working where I am working. Looking for something a little closer to home but beggars really can't be choosers when it comes to employment. My ideal job would be to work in an office where I am not on the phone for 8 hours, somewhere where I am appreciated for my work and people who are fun to work with and don't drive me UP THE WALL!!!

Since I got my tax return I am replacing my windshield and bought an HP laptop. My very first. I get to go and pick it up this afternoon after work. I am excited. I will be able to sit in my room or where ever I want and play on the computer.

What I have been up to

2010-01-06T15:55:00.001-08:00

Well lets see what have I been up to lately? I have ventured out of my comfort zone and decided to do a little dinner theater with my mom. We did Seven Brides for Seven Brothers this fall. I was Mrs. Bixby and my mom was Mrs. Perkins. It was kinda funny how the person who played my daughter is older than me but hey what can you do. The for Christmas we were sock sellers in Scrooge. This next one we are in the chorus of Aida. Been crazy busy but we really have nothing else to occupy our time while Chorale is out of break. We go back to Chorale next Wednesday.

Um we found out that Amy and B.J. are expecting another girl in March. So freaking excited. B.J. is such a good father. I know I don't tell him but he is just awesome. On Zoey's 3rd birthday she got some Barbie dolls and he got down on the floor and played with her. It was sweet. Got a picture of that too.

Dustin moved in with Denise. Not too sure about that yet but he is an adult and I can't begrudge him happiness.

We spent our first Christmas in many many years at home. It was really nice to not have to actually hurry through the morning to get dressed and head to Franktown. I loved not getting in the shower until after 2pm. We made tons of appetizers then had smoked bricuit that B.J. make and Ham from Megan. It was a great day spent with immediate family.

This past weekend we had a generation picture done. It was my moms mom, my mom, me, Amy and Zoey. Becca took them and I am super excited to see them.

I think that is all I have. I mean there was probably so much more but I really can't think of anything.

MoTab and such

2009-07-07T07:40:00.000-07:00

Since I had to work the day of the MoTab concert we got a little late start heading to Red Rocks. We did however make it there with plenty of time. Once we got into the area for parking I noticed that the brakes on my car were screeching rather loudly. Fabulous, almost 80 miles from home. Two of my three brothers were in Idaho for the week dirtbiking and the other still at work. I chose to not worry about it and have faith that we would get home safe when the time came. So after we parked we discovered we had a trek ahead. I had never been to the Red Rocks venue so I had no idea what was in store. After walking up a hill I noticed that there was a massive amount of steps that had to be climbed. Are you freaking kidding me?! We had to stop every other set to take a breather. These were not regular steps oh no, they were a little bit more steep then normal stairs. Once we got to the top we looked at out tickets and thank goodness we were in row 17. We climbed the last few steps and victory we were at out seats. After a brief rest I went to the food stand and got us some food. Not fabulous but whatever. Once the concert started my eyes were glued. I discovered that this concert was going to be awesome and there were going to be tears. One of the best things is that President Thomas S. Monson was there. Wow was that awsome.

All the songs that they performed were wonderful but when they started singing Come Thou Fount, I really kida lost it. That is one of my favorite songs. I love singing it because being a first soprano and getting to sing those high notes is what I live for. I feel like I am a bird and flying as high as possible. It makes my spirit soar. My heart flutters and emotions flow.

When it came time to leave the trip to the car wasn't as annoying as the trip up. I guess it was because it was downhill. When we got to my car I said a little silent prayer to get us home or at least somewhere close to it. We made it home. But I could slam on the brakes so I had to be extra careful with my driving. The next day I had to take my moms Jeep to work and she took Dustins truck. I called B.J., the brother who was home and asked if he could check my brakes. I had to carpool with Amy on Wednesday and Thursday. She works 7-4 and I 8-5. I of course had to come in early. Getting up an hour earlier is not fun when you had play rehearsal until close to ten the night before and not getting to bed until well after eleven. On Wednesday I was tired, not having a good day. Found out a friend got engaged, one had a baby and another started dating someone, and found out I had to get new brakepads and rotors on my car. I was done with the day. I just wanted it to be over. I went to bed fairly early. Woke up around 11 wondering why the neighbors were still lighting off fireworks. I was ticked off. I was cold so I decided to shut my window only to discover the that "fireworks" noise was actually rain. Whatever. On Thursday night I gave my brother a blank check to get the parts. By Thursday night I had my car back. yeah. Friday morning I was able to sleep in.

Since my mom had an appointment to get a pedicure out at Centerra I decided to drop her off and then go shopping. I got my Jonas Brothers 3D movie and then headed over to Bath and Body works to buy Amy's birthday present. We were going to see a movie after she was done but we changed out minds. We went out shopping later.

On Saturday we went to B.J.'s house for a BBQ/Birthday party. It was fun. Then the raiin came pouring down. Never in my life has the Loveland fireworks display been cancelled but with the heavy rain it was looking like it just might happen. NO!!!! We all went home for a bit, Zoey needed a nap. She decided to come to our house to take her nap. After her chocolate milk she was out. Around 6 we went back to B.J.'s to wait out the rain and hope that the fireworks were still on. At 8pm the rain had stopped and the sun was trying to peek out. Yes, we all got in the truck and headed toward Lake Loveland and found our spot to watch the fireworks. After that we went back to B.J.'s and lit off some just for us. Well B.J. being the pyro we all know and love bought a balck cat thing a few years ago before Zoey was born. He figured that since it was so wet and people were still leaving the park and such we were safe. Oh and the neighbors were lighting off was more illegal fireworks then us. He lit it and it was off. It was loud and almost never ending. Well one part came near us and Zoey being just cute and have to laugh said," oh S#$%" yup loud and clear. It was a good ending to the week.

Holy Moly

2009-06-26T12:15:00.000-07:00

Crazy is the theme of my life at the moment. I started out spring looking for a job. All because I stood my ground. I am tired of people thinking that they can walk all over me. I am not like some women who let people walk all over them and make them do what they want them to do. I have a voice and I am using it. I changed my phone number because I finally had had enough harrassing phone calls from my father. I realized that I can control it. First step was changing my number. When and if I am ready to talk to him again I will but until then I am doing this for my sanity. I don't know why things were done. I can't read minds. For one thing I shouldn't be involved in the goings on of the divorce. I am the daughter and I will not be forced to choose sides. I am tired of the emotional and verbal abuse I recieved. I have felt so much relief since i took that first step into gaining control.

This past month, along with my mom we decided to audition for 7 Brides for 7 Brothers that is being done at the local dinner theater. We both got in. I am Mrs. Bixby and my mom is Mrs. Perkins. So far I have five or six lines. Not just little lines but full sentences. I am gonna try not to throw up. All the other plays I have done I have been in the chorus. In the Music Man I had was one little three word phrase. Not this time. No siree. So now we have rehearsals once a week until the middle of July and then after that two or three times a week and then the performances are Friday, Saturday evenings and Sunday afternoons. They have doubles for most of the cast so we won't have to be at every performance.

This last week my mom and I went to the Jonas Brothers concert at the Pepsi Center. It was so much freaking fun. Their stage was in the round and it was massive. It turned. The center where they came up could be turned into a trampoline for tricks and the water wall that they had was unbelievable. It rained hearts and words and other designs. Truly awesome. I don't really care if people think I am too old to like their music. I am beyond caring what others thinks about things that I choose to like. Music is such a huge part of my life. If it moves me and I enjoy it than that is all that matters. They put on a great show. Their opening acts were Honor Society and they are different but I like them. Also Jordin Sparks was there. She is just awesome. Her single Battlefield rocks. I won tickets from Verizon after I had already bought my own. I tried every one I knew to give them away. They either couldn't go or they were not fans. So I took them with me with the intent of finding someone to give them to. I was going to find someone who was on the upper level to bring them down to the first level. No such luck. Sad to say that two good seats went to waste. I bought the tour book, two lanyards and a necklace. I gave one of the lanyards to my mom. She had just as much fun as I did. She went with me last year for the Burnin Up tour. We are going to make it a yearly event as long as they keep coming back to Denver.

Since it is summer the Colorado Mormon Chorale is taking a break. We go back at the end of August. We are doing one performance at the end of July but that is with songs that we know like the back of our hands. One of the songs I get to play my flute. I used to get nervous playing in front of people but now I don't. I stay focused and let it all go. I do that with singing to. Now speaking in front of people that makes me shake. No idea why. We get to sing the National Anthem at one of the Colorado Rockies games in September. We get to be in center field. We get told every year that we are not allowed to walk on the chalked lines. We have to step over them. They get upset if you do. Can't mess of the foul-line now can you?

This coming Monday my mom and I are going to Red Rocks Amphetheater to hear the Mormon Tabernacle Choir perform. The last time we saw them was at the Pepsi Center. It was I think 3 or 4 years ago. It is just fun to hear them. Listening to music is just so much more fulfilling when you listen to it live.

Little Zoey is 2 1/2 now and boy is she a handful of energy. She loves getting her fingernails and toenails painted so when she is getting cranky she follows Aunt April and we go paint them. she secretly loves the cotton balls I put between her toes. She had even mastered walking on her heels. She is such a performer. I have a little microphone that I got in a happy meal once and she brings in a step-stool from the kitchen and stands on it and starts singing. Her favorite song to perform is the itsy bitsy spider but someone has to do the actions. She loves Five monkeys jumping on the bed but hasn't quite grasped the concept of counting down as one monkey falls off. In her mind the one that fell off just gets back on. Such a performer.

Sweet sweet summer

2009-06-04T09:46:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged in quite sometime. Twitter got to me. I know I am not the only one to have that happen. Crazy crazy crazy. So I am no longer working at my old job. I am working at a temp job until I find something more permanant. Not my idea but I need to work. In less then three weeks I will be going to my second Jonas Brothers concert. So excited. I have floor seats and they are close. My mom is going with me again. Then we have the Mormon Tabernacle concert at Redrocks. I can't remember the date but it is coming up soon. We have had tickets for that for quite a while. It should be awesome. The last time we saw them was when they were at the Pepsi Center. I have changed my phone number too and have given it to trusted people via their e-mail. Got tired of stupid harrassing phone calls. I am in control. I have no clue what else to blog about.

Great Book

2009-04-18T15:01:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged in so long I thought that I would put a little blurb of something. I finished a book last week that was just awesome. It is called the Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo. It was an easy read and it is a book about following your dreams. Normally I wouldn't read a book like that but it was mentioned tons of times so I thought that I would give it a try.

Finally some relief

2009-01-29T07:59:00.000-08:00

So for the past almost years my parents have been working out details of the divorce. When this all occured I told my parents that I will not be put in the middle. I didn't want to know what was ticking off the other. My mom, bless her has kept to this rule, my father has not. He is ticked because my mom will only talk to him through her attorney. I really don't blame her because everytime he would call he would start yelling at her. I never really understood why she just didn't hang up on him. But then she said that if she did she would get yelled at even more when he got home. My dad has the world snowballed into thinking that he is a good man and he was wronged by the divorce and that it wasn't his fault. Proof one, he had been cheating on my mom. When caught he said that he met up with her because he saw her at the store or some other ridiculous story. The lady that he is now married to has been divorced or widowed, I have no idea nor do I really care, is just as snowballed as the rest of the world. He likes to play the poor pitiful me my children hate me. Damn straight we do. How can you love someone who loves you only on the condition that you do what he wants when he wants it done. For example, if we didn't mow the lawn his way he would yell at us. Who cared that it was done it just wasn't done his way. stupid stuff like that.

Anyway last Wednesday he calls me and starts out all nice and then he asks me to have mom give him a call. I told him that she wouldn't call him. He wanted me to ask anyway, so I did and of course she said no. He wanted me to call him back and give him the answer. Well I had chorale that night and didn't get home until late and I didn't want to call him. The next day I totally forgot about it. When I got home I had a message and he said, " Well I guess you are going to be playing the same games as your mother. I am not going to say anything else because I know that you will let your mother and he attorney listen to this so thanks for calling." what an ass. I called him and ripped into him right off. Give him a taste of his own medicine. I am after all his daughter. I layed into him for a good five minutes telling him what I really thought of him and this whole situation. I told him that I have asked on so many occations for him to not talk about the divorce or drag me in the middle. He can ask how mom is doing that is it, end of discussion. But he wakes up to a new day every freaking day. He got ticked because none of us kids dropped what we were doing when he had a "heart attack" in April. None of us knew about the fake attack until three days later. He didn't like the fact that I called him on it. His brother could have called he lives there, his new wife could have called or even his mother could have but nope he thought he could use that incident as leverage later. Idiot. Then he started in on Dustin and saying how he never calls him. Well no crap sherlock, why would he call someone who told him he was worthless, and he was a disappointment, and that he was no son of his. Oh and not a man. That broke the straw, I ripped into him like no other. I told him that if Dustin wasn't a man than why did he help a friend that was kicked out of her house with nothing but the clothes on her back? This MAN went out and bought her a couple of outfits and made arrangements for a place for her to stay while her parents cooled off. He never asked for payment of the clothes. Nothing he helped out of the kindness of his heart. This MAN was 17 years old when he did this. I told my father that Dustin was more of a man then he will ever be. He said that he provided for his family. Yes he did but when he came home everyone dreaded it. Whenever he was home he was always, and I mean always yelling or angry. There were times when we feared our safety. Looking back now I am surpised at how lucky we actually were to get out of there alive and in one piece. He thought I had hung up on him and one time and I told him I wasn't even nearly done. I told him that I have had to get blessings from my home teachers or my bishop because I knew deep in my heart that he wasn't worthy to do that. I remember one time where I was just going to be meeting with my bishop and the second I walked into his office he said he had a strong feeling to give me a blessing. I am so happy that I have worthy priesthood leaders in my life that I can count on. I pretty much told my dad that he was a worthless father who was never there when it really counted. I know it was very harsh to say but it needed to be said. I have never slept so well in such a long time. I really needed to let him know how I felt. My mom thinks that I should probably talk to someone about everything. She thinks it will help me move on and know that the verbal abuse and emotional abuse was not my fault. I guess I will have to see.

Updates

2009-01-13T18:45:00.000-08:00

O so someone asked me why I haven't been blogging lately. Well to tell you the truth I have been just so freaking busy I haven't had time. When I get home and check my e-mail I find other things to do instead of blog.

Here are some updates on what has been happening since I last posted on Halloween. I am still at my job so that is a bonus. I had the day after Thanksgiving off so I was able to do some black friday shopping but I didn't start until after 11am. I new what I wanted and there were no spectacular deals to get my lazy bum out of bed before the sun came up. I was excited to have that day off because I haven't for the past three years. Medical workers don't get holidays off like the rest of the world. I also had the day after Christmas off so that was fun. I think I had fun just watching the crazy people shop and fight for things. For Christmas we went to my aunt and uncles house in Franktown as we do for all major holidays. It was fun.

Sad stuff, as some of you might or might not know my grandma Steving, mom's mom, has alzhiemers. She was diagnosed shortly after B.J. and Amy got married in 2004. We have since put her in a nursing facility in Greeley. I have been lucky enough to work 5 short minutes from there so when I get a chance I go and visit her during my lunch hour. Most times when I go there she recognizes me but can't remember my name. That sucks but I totally understand. Well the Wednesday before Christmas I got off work early so I decided to go and see how she was doing. She had absolutely no clue who I was. I broke my heart. Normally I am sad when I leave but this particular visit hit me too hard. I pretty much ran to my car and broke down. Good thing I didn't have to go back to work because my make-up was all smeary. I called my mom and told her. Let me just say that crying and driving is not safe so don't try it. Just like crying and trying to sing. It just isn't pretty. My mom made me go with her that Saturday and she was much better. I just need to get used to the idea that there are going to be times when she has no clue. This is the disease she had said that she never wanted to get because you are essentially trapped in your own mind and can't communcate like you use to. I know by looking in her eyes that she is still in there and that she knows who I am and that I love her. I just hate seeing her like this. I just have faith that my Heavenly Father is with her. (whoo crying and typing not pretty either.)

I have been put on probation for a promotion at work. I was hired as a Administrative Assistant and have since been doing work as a Billing Specialist. So I am in a probation period. I was told that I couldn't complain and I had to be nice to the co-worker who gets on my nerves like no other. So far it has been two weeks and I have been nice. She has too so it makes it tons better. I have been having fun phone flirting with a guy that works out in the shop. He is a mechanic. Downside, he drinks, and today I found out he smokes. My co-worker told me that she wouldn't let me date him now because he smokes. She thinks that smoking turns to chewing tobacco. I think he does that sometimes too because when I go out there he has a mouthful of sunflower seeds. I never planned on dating him I was just passing boring time at work. Working on my flirting skills. I think I am getting a little better.

I have decided as a new years thing to not care what people think about me. I am going to do my best to do what I want for myself and to make me feel better. 2009 feeling more comfortable in my own skin. Screw what everyone else thinks.

I hope that this is a good update for you. I will try to blog more often but I really can't promise.

Oh before I forget, on Saturday I went to my B.J.'s house to give him a CD for his computer and Zoey was watching country music videos, (she learned a song that swears so no more top 40 for her) well she was watching a Dierks Bentley one and I asked of she was watching a cute guy and her response was no...hot. That made me laugh. She sure is going to give B.J. a run for his money when she gets older that is for sure.

Holy Cow! Wait BULL!!!!

2008-10-31T11:32:00.000-07:00

So I am driving to work yesterday minding my own business jammin to the tunes coming out of the speakers when I come up over a hill and come face to face with not just a cow but a big freakin BULL! I had to slam on my brakes to avoid hitting the massive animal. I tried to slowly go around it but he put his head down and looked like he was going to charge. A bull fighter I am not but I have the brains enough to stay still. By this time there were more cars back behind me and in front of me. Even one idiot got out of his car to try to shoo it back to the field. Yeah like that is going to work. He lived only because someone else distracted the bull so he could get back into his car. By this time I was getting annoyed. Where was the bulls owner? I have to get to work. We tried honking horns but that just seemed to piss it off. Some other idiot tried yelling at it, pissing it off more. Finally after what seemed like hours a state patrol officer came to the scene. Again he tried shooing, honking and yelling. aparently if any of those worked we wouldn't be in this situation. After twenty more minutes of that stupidity someone with a tranq gun shot it and down went mister bull. Oh it took a couple of shots but it finally went down. Let me just say that I now have to find yet another way to work.

Wedding Weekend

2008-10-14T08:26:00.001-07:00

Holy cow this weekend was crazy. I took Friday off because I knew that my mom couldn't cook all the food for the rehearsal dinner by herself. We got up kinda early and went shopping for the supplies that were needed for the food. When we got home we decided what to do first. My mom said that she would make the buttermilk brownies and I would make the salad, potatoe casserole and my aunt who came to help would make the BBQ sauce and squash casserole. Ok stop right there. How did we get stuck making more of the food while she just made the brownies? She claims that she is the better baker. Ok whatever. My salad was freaking awesome. Cranberries, blue cheese, walnuts, apples, lettuce, onions, and tons of other yummy goodness. The potato casserole was good too. I also make the pulled pork. Yum.

The rehearsal went well, Casey and Megan both looked a little nervous but not so much. Zoey did really good too. Which we were all amazed. The dinner was a success. When we all got there Megan gave everyone a schedule. She had everything and I mean everything planned down to the gnats behind. 10 hair 1pm makeup 2:30pm wedding party at church getting ready. It was funny. Until she gave me one and told me when I had to be there. I am not part of the wedding party but she said I had to be there for family pictures. Joy
The actual wedding day we got up early aain because we were meeting Amy to get out nails done and then our hair. When we were finished with that we had about two hours to spare. We went home got dressed and headed to the church. Talk about chaos. The room where Megan and her bridesmaids were dressing was tiny, the room where the guys got dressed was huge. How messed up is that? Messed up I tell you. I helped amy get Zoey dressed in her flower girl dress and she looked so freaking cute.
When the ceremony finally started everyone came down the aisle and when it was Zoey's turn she was supposed to be throwing rose petals down after Taylor but she was picking them up and putting them in her basket. Amy finally told her to go find her daddy, one of the groomsman, she made her way down and walked around the piles of petals, careful not to step on any of them. She did a good job.
At the reception things got crazy, beer was flowing and people were getting three sheets to the wind. One of the things that I learned is that Dustin is a funny drunk. He was dirty dancing with Amy and it was funny. We got pictures. Oh and he was flirting with me. I had to smack him for that and tell him that was just wrong. Of course the next day he remembered nothing. It was funny. They had a dollar dance and one of Megan's uncles wanted to dance with Casey. Cracked me up. When it was my turn it was nice. I am proud of Casey for taking this step and legalizing everything. They had been living together for the past two or so years.
When Darren asked when they were going to have kids Casey's response was,
" I got that beep tied." It was funny.
All in all the wedding and stuff was good and we all had fun.
One Sunday I woke up around 10:30am and we decided not to go to church. So I ate breakfast and checked e-mail and then went back to my room. I slept off and on for either 30 minutes to an hour at a time. Then between 4-6 I was out. I got up long enouhg to shower and to eat then I was back in bed and fell asleep for the night around 9pm. I guess that I needed the sleep. Hopefully the next wedding is mine. Gotta find the guy first.

say what?

2008-10-07T09:56:00.001-07:00

So on Sunday when my mom and I got back from visiting my g-ma our neighbor asked us if she could ask a question. Sure. She asked if I was the one that played the piano. I said yes. She said I played beautifully. HUH? I politely said thanks. She then asked if I taught piano lessons. I replied no but I know someone on the block that does. We went into the house when I turned to my mom and asked, "I wonder what I was playing that day." She had no idea. The only time I play is when no one is home because lets face it a piano is not a quiet instrument. Since it has been nice in the evenings we have been opening up the back and front doors to get a breeze and to air out the house after being closed up all day. So that is probably when she heard me. Later that night I was telling my brother about it and he said you were probably playing something you have been playing for years and years. Dork. But a possibility. It was just funny. I guess I should practice more often.

Oh Starbucks has the best signature hot chocolate. I tried the salted caramel hot chocolate. Sounds gross but it is delicious. It is a blend of 4 chocolates from Europe. Holy cow is it to die for. Everyone should go out and try it.

Craziness

2008-10-05T15:07:00.000-07:00

Ok so Casey's wedding is this coming Saturday. I finally found my dress this past Friday. Yeah I know, way to wait til the last possible minute. I just haven't been all that excited about it. I am happy for them but not thrilled to go to yet another wedding single. I think the hardest thing about finding a dress is because this is the first wedding that I have been to that I haven't been part of the wedding party. So I had to set out to find a dress. Normally I would just find a dress that was nice and could wear to church or work or something. But oh no this wedding is kinda formal. Great another dress to add to the bunch that can't be worn again unless it is a halloween costume. Well I got online and was looking for dresses at the beginning of the summer and had the hardest time finding one that was modest. I either ran into sleeveless, no sleeves, too short, too freaking whore looking or just plain ugly. So I decided to wait until the fall clothes came out. Again same freaking problem. So then I found these really cool pants that look like a dress when I am standing. I just needed to find a top. Well when I went to go get the pants and top I found a gorgeous skirt, black with see through black material, twirlly and a top that is brown with cream and black designs. Now why would I wear that to the wedding? Well I will tell you. Her colors are Apple red and chocolate. I look pretty darn awesome in it. Plus I got some really pretty 1928 jewelry to match. Now I just need to find the perfect shoe.

What what

2008-09-27T19:02:00.000-07:00

So I think that I should update on here more but lately I have been just too tired to do anything. With the end of the month creeping up I have had to help with the month end billing at work. I was hired as a freaking admin not I have moved to billing and such. Holy cow. Plus I have been given tons more stuff to do and be responsible for. I guess that is good considering I would be bored out of my ever loving mind if I didn't have anything to do.

Casey's wedding is creeping up on us too fast. Last weekend we had the bridal shower. It was good but I am glad that it is over. Emily, Megan's sister was suppose to help but she actually did nothing. She said she would help decorate along with the other bridesmaids but didn't. She tried to take credit for the whole thing but Amy being Amy didn't let her. It was really funny. They were supposed to help clean up but they were too busy talking about Emily's party that was going on later that night. Annoying.

I am having a hard time finding a dress for the wedding. It is really formal like. I hate it. All the other weddings I have been to I have been in the wedding party and I haven't had to worry about finding a dress. This time around I am just a guest. Which is good to a point is a good thing. So today mom and I went shopping to try and find something. I have decided to go with these awesome pants that look like I am wearing a dress. Then I am going to find a cute top to go with it. I have had the hardest time finding a modest dress. They are either too short or don't have sleeves. If I wanted to look like a hooker at my brothers wedding then I would maybe go for something like that but since the bridemaids have that covered I decided against it. If I was in highschool and trying to find a dress for homecoming I would be screwed.

Chorale is good. I am having a better year since I am singing first soprano again. I hated last year with a passion. I felt like a caged bird wasn't ever let out to fly. This year I am back in the sky flying high.

Thank goodness

2008-09-02T18:11:00.000-07:00

Thank goodness for the websites that allow you to look up lyrics to songs that you can't quite understand the words. My recent one is When I grow up from the Pussycat Dolls. Here are the lyrics in question. Then I will let you know what I thought they were.

[Chorus]When I grow up
I wanna be famous
I wanna be a star
I wanna be in movies
When I grow up
I wanna see the world
Drive nice cars
I wanna have groupies

What I heard...

When I grow up
I wanna be famous
I wanna be a star
I wanna be in movies
When I grow up
I wanna see the world
Drive nice cars
I wanna have boobies

Yup that is what I heard. I always laughed when I heard this part of the song. Again thank goodness for the sites that have the correct lyrics. I should send it in to Leno and give him a laugh or maybe Ellen.

job status, am I insane, and Larimer County Fair

2008-08-02T15:33:00.001-07:00

So I am no longer at my CNA job. I resigned, I had had enough of the stuff. It was a stupid thing to do when I didn't have a job lined up but it was a mutual separation. I hate nursing. Good if I need it but bad if you are working in that field. So right now I am working at a temp job for the next three -four weeks. It is in Greeley. It is ok but I get bored alot. I told them that I wanted to stay busy. Otherwise the day drags on forever and ever. During my lunch hour, yes I have an hour for lunch. I have no idea of anything around there. I do however know how to get to Target so for two of the three days last week I hung out there. Anywho, the third week in August my mom and I are going to Provo for education week on BYU campus. It will be great. Good thing everything was paid for before this job crisis.
Tonight I volunteered to help a fellow non-parent watch 6 kids all under the age of 5. Insane? Maybe if I was doing it alone but I will have help so that is good.
Today we took Zoey to the Larimer County Fair. We went through the livestock and other animal places. She made all the sounds of they make it was just too freaking cute. We went to the petting zoo that they had and she clung to my sis-in-law so tight. They had a camel. When we were first in there it was laying down. Then all of the sudden it got up and came after my sis-in-law. We booked it out of there. The sign says no running and Amy said we didn't run we sprinted. No rule against that. At the Livestock Pavillion there was htis monster white cow. Now I know that they are big animals but this one was giant. It was laying down so it could be even bigger. Gives a whole new meaning to Holy Cow!!!

Jonas Brothers Concert

2008-07-25T14:17:00.000-07:00

Holy crap was this concert freaking awesome. I thought I was going to have to work that day but then other stuff happened and I didn't have to. Anyway, we did our regular Saturday stuff and then when the time came to get ready to leave I felt like I was going to throw up from excitement. Don't care if you think I am weird. When we got there we had to pay $20 for parking. Crazy I tell you. We only had to stand in line for less then 20 minutes. Oh took my mom with. Once we got inside we headed towards our seats. I thought that they were going to be further back. Nope we were 7-8 rows from the stage and less then 10 feet from the speakers. I hardly had to use my zoom on my camera to get good pictures. During the opening act I went and got my souvenir stuff. I got a bag and a book. When the concert started it was getting dark. During one of the songs they sprayed the audience with foam. It was nuts. My mom and I got foamed good. Wre had so much fun. It made me not worry about my job. I had forgotten how loud pre-teens and teen girls can scream. I mean I knew they could but I had forgotten the high pitch of it. All in all we had a blast and suffered temporary deafness for two days and a couple of having our ears ring. Let me just say that church hurt from people talking loud or what sounded loud to me.

Life just plain sucks

2008-07-25T14:07:00.000-07:00

So this last week I was suspended from work and then let go. I hated my job and was furiously looking for something else. But then I get this kicking the pants and now I am unemployed and annoyed with life. Upside of the suspension was that I didn't have to work on Saturday before my Jonas Brothers concert. I will tell you all about that in another post. Onto other suckiness of my life. I am having my records moved to my family ward at the end of August. I like the ward I am in but I am just not getting what I need out of it. I have out grown the ward. Not very many people my age anymore. They have either moved out of the ward or have gotten married. I wish that was why I was moving but then there is the whole no one my age thing. There is one lady there that has a cow every time I visit. She asks if I am going to sing a solo. Nope just visiting. So now I need to prepare something for when I do go back. I thought long and hard about it so it is something that feels right. Also with being unemployed I believe I have lost around 8 pounds. Good thing but not a good way. I usually only be eating dinner, or I would eat just breakfast or just a snack here and there. Not healthy. I really hate life right now. My dad is being his usual jerky self. Not caring about anything. He doesn't care that he lost his eternal family. His children can't stand him and he will not get to know his grand-daughter or any other grandchildren that come along. His loss.

Parking

2008-07-02T17:52:00.001-07:00

So this afternoon Dustin gets home from work and slams the door to his room so hard that the walls shake. I thought pictures were going to come off. Boy is he lucky that they didn't. Well I decided to see what was wrong, you know being the sister that I am I knocked on his door and he had a crappy day at work because one of his co-workers did absolutely nothing. Today was his last day before his vacation so Dustin said that it was pointless for him to come in because Dustin had to do all his work. Pain in the bum. So then he went outside and worked on his dirt bike because him and the other two bros are going riding over the holiday and he just got some stuff in the mail today to put on. Well then he handed me his keys to his truck and had me back it up so he could load up his bike. He trusts me to back it up. It is a huge truck. I am used to my car lower to the ground not as big. Don't have to jump to get in. Well I did it. When I handed him the keys his comment was, "It is ok but you park like a crooked lawyer." Brat. I can back up my car straight no problem. It's just that I was nervous. I mean that was the first time he handed me the keys to move it and it is HUGE!!!

Cutest movie ever

2008-06-27T16:17:00.001-07:00

So today my mom and I decided to go to a movie. We went and saw Wall-e. Totally cute and totally funny. There really wasn't a whole lot of talking but the robots were funny with the actions and stuff. I highly recommend it to everyone of all ages. I think this is my new favorite Pixar movie.

Also I am almost finished with my short stories and about to send them off to a friend who is a writer to see if they are any good to get published. Here is keeping my fingers crossed.

I have to get my brakes checked on my car. They are squeaking like no other and grinding. When I made the appointment they asked if I could be there at 8am. Are you nuts!! 8am on a Saturday morning. I had to settle for 9am. Still a little early on a day off but my safety is in question. And no comments from those who have driven with me. You are all still alive and got to your destination in one piece. Dustin said that if he had time to change them he would but since he has a four day week and is going dirt biking over the holiday with my other two bros he said he didn't. I would much rather pay him to do work on my car then someone else. He is licensed to do so. Plus I trust him a whole lot more. But I guess I will have to see what they tell me tomorrow. They might have to fix the problem free of charge since there is a warranty in effect.

I have pre-ordered my Jonas Brothers CD that comes out in August. Again I don't really care if you don't like them. I do so that is what matters. I am also going to their concert in July with my mom because she kinda likes them too but won't really come right out and say it. I am a Disney Channel freak and proud of it!!!!

Too cute

2008-06-16T15:33:00.000-07:00

So we had everyone over for Father's day yesterday. Well Zoey got her second wind at 8pm. She was nuts. I asked her what kind of kiddie crack she was on and she looked at me seriously for a second and then just burst out laughing and continued running around in circles. Holy cow to have that kind of energy.

UGH!!!!

2008-06-16T15:26:00.000-07:00

Today sucked beyond measure. Granted there were four CNA's today and I only had 9 residents to care for but they were exhausting let me tell you. One went into anothers' room and stole a hat last week and we have been trying to get it from her for about a week. Not an easy task when the freaking thing is never off her head. So after lunch we did a distract and take off and run. If I would have know about this plan beforehand then I would have been a little more prepared for it. While one of the aids was walking past she took it off and handed it off to me and told me to run. OK. So we spent the rest of the afternoon being called whores and then sons of a whore. Her vocabulary is limited to swear words. She was raised in the country where it was OK to spit on the floor, stay dirty, be rude and disgusting. She came out of her room leaving a toilet paper trail and then started ripping things off the wall. Within 10 minutes she made the biggest mess know to man. It looked like the Tasmanian devil came through. So now I am so exhausted.

Creeps and Creepy old men

2008-06-14T18:55:00.000-07:00

Ugh so I have decided to change how I dress. I have bought a bunch of button down shirts and cute Capri's to go with them. I have cute jewelry to go too. Well at church I had more guys look at my chest before they met my eyes. Have they never seen a B before? Geez. It is not like they are just hanging out there. The tops are not low cut because I have to keep the G's covered but dang it. Wanna get struck by lightening? Well anyway today I went to Wal-mart and had a creepy dirty old man check me out. Yes checked me out. I had been staring at me as I walked towards him and then as I passed him I looked behind me and he was still looking at me. Now some might say that he thought maybe he knew me but he had that dirty lear look. I know this look well because my dad's dad had that same look when we lived with them for a month. All I have to say is that my girls will only be seen by me and the man I marry. And on the occasion my doctor.

Onto the creeps. There is a guy that I have known forever and know a few of his secrets that he keeps hidden from people. Well he keeps trying to add me as a friend on facebook and I have politely declined and still he persues. Now he is sending me stupid little messages like, "Howdy, just wanted to send you a smile and say hi." Creep. I didn't like you when I was younger and you were dating my friend I sure don't like you now.

Oh yeah I found a cd that I wanted that really isn't supposed to be out in stores until Tuesday. Wal-Mart screws up again.

You know your mom is still sleeping when...

2008-06-09T15:50:00.000-07:00

So this morning I told my mom goodbye because I was going to work and told her that I was expecting a package from either DHL or Fed Ex. She asked what was in the package I told her it was my tickets. Her response was this. "Since when do they send speeding tickets by Fed EX or DHL?" I had to walk away. I just left a note on the door saying to leave the package inside the screen. I guess she gets the same kind of stupid answers from me when I am still sleeping. Goofball.

Daddy issues

2008-06-07T18:26:00.000-07:00

As everyone knows by now my parents are divorced and have been for almost a year. Well I get a call from my father on Wednesday telling me that him and Marion are getting married that day. My first thought was big whoopty do. I don't care. My second thought was that I am not calling him back because I don't want to. What right does he have getting re-married and being happy when he could have stayed happy with my mom if he didn't cheat on her? I am really glad that he is living in Alamosa because that way he has to come see us if he wants to. He is still ticked off that Dustin won't return his calls. What do you expect when you tell him that he is a disappointment and worthless. Of course he is not going to return your calls. Then he is ticked because Casey won't allow you to come to his wedding with his new wife. He can come if he is alone and leaves her home but otherwise he is uninvited. This way makes it so everyone isn't even more uncomfortable. B.J. only talks to him because he feels he should. He is too kindhearted for his own good but it is a good quality to have.

Another issue is that he asked me a while back if I would come to the sealing of their marriage. WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Of course I won't because A.) when your temple sealing cancellation to mom is cancelled I am no longer sealed to you for eternity. You are just my earthly father and when you die that will be it for us. B.) I know all your dirty little secrets. C.) I don't want to feel dirty in the temple when it is clean and pure.

I have a long way to go before I have my daddy issues figured out.

Money, money, money

2008-06-07T18:19:00.000-07:00

I should not be allowed to have an exhorbant amount of money at my disposal. I mean all my bills are payed, tithing taken out, some put in my rainy day account/savings. So what do I do with what is left? Well so far I have bought clothes, concert tickets, Cd's, jewelry, and books. But my second biggest purchase after the concert tickets was an out of print CD. Yup on eBay the CD was selling for $299.00. Now don't freak out I didn't buy that one. I got one from amazon.com for $150.00. I tried everywhere to get it. I tried the used CD store in Fort Collins but they didn't have it. I got one other out of print CD there before so that was one of the first places I checked. I still have tons left. Holy poopy-do what am I going to do. I have also taken my mom out to dinner twice at nice places. All I know is that I would suck at being wealthy. But then I would donate to charities and such.

Holy cow where is the freaking autofill button/I need a nerd

2008-06-06T16:32:00.000-07:00

So I decided to purchase an iPod shuffle to have when I go to Provo in August. Today I put all the music from my Cd's that I wanted on it and then the directions told me to click the auto fill button. Looked all over for the stupid thing and couldn't find it. Dustin got home so I asked him and he had no clue because he has an mp3 player and used a different program. (Windows media) So then I finally decided to click the help button and it gave me the manual for my iPod. Can I just say stupid button!!!

Turn the freak off

2008-06-04T15:25:00.000-07:00

So today has been a jam packed day. First thing this morning I got online and noticed that I won my Jonas Brothers tickets on eBay. (I don't care if you don't like them I do so there!) Then I had a phone interview with the Hospice of Larimer County for a receptionist job. Then I spent twenty minutes paying bills because they have to be paid or I have no phone or Internet or TV for that matter. Well after all that was done I decided to go shopping. I needed new summer clothes because, A.) My others are too big. and B.) the others are too big. So my first stop was Wal-Mart because I needed some essentials plus I found some really cute Capri's and tops. Next stop, Old Navy, didn't really find anything there. So I went to a different store and found these really awesome Capri's and a gorgeous top. Next stop Best Buy. Had to get a couple of Cd's. Disney mania 4 and Aly and AJ (again don't care of you don't like them) Next stop Claire's Boutique. I got some cute earrings and bangle bracelets, and necklaces to go with my new outfits.

To explain the topic of my post I bought a spin toothbrush. Well when I got home I took it out of the package and turned it on to make sure it worked. Well it works all right. The freaking thing will not turn off. My mom told me to take the battery out. Stupid thing isn't one that you can replace the battery. I tried for a good 10 minutes. I gave up and through it in my sock drawer. Could still hear it. My mom laughed at me and said that if she didn't know that I was a good girl she would think I had something else in there going off. (dork) She told me to take it back. How the heck am I supposed to take it back when the thing won't turn off? So I took it out to the garage where hopefully the battery will die and then I can return it. All in all this morning and early afternoon was fun.

OK ewww

2008-06-02T14:45:00.001-07:00

Let me preface this post. If you have any of these conditions do not read and if you do read then the outcome is not my fault because you were warned. 1.) nasty gag reflex. 2.) Dry heaves. Again you have been warned!

So today at work one of my residents died. Not bad. Sucks to start the shift off with a death but that is a part of the job. What comes next is icky. So a couple of weeks ago two residents got into it and one broke their hip. We all thought they pulled a muscle but actually it was a fracture. Well the other resident kicked the other and we had to send them to the ER where we learned about the fracture. Well this resident came back this past weekend and was so out of it it was crazy. So today I checked on them and they were breathing. 30 short minutes later they were not. Now I hate post mortem care like the rest of the staff but it has to be done. I had one of the other CNA's help because of what I found. Inside their mouth was some brown icky stuff. At that point I had no clue what it was. We first thought it was blood. Well when we rolled them it came out of their mouth and nose and it was poop. Yup an blocked bowel. This resident fell last night again and possibly caused this. No I can handle poop in its variety coming out of the correct end but when it comes out of the mouth that is totally different. The smell was so intense I was dry heaving, gagging and about to pass out. I told the other CNA that I would hold the resident if she cleaned up the mouth. Now here it is almost 9 hours later and the picture is still in my mind. I need something to take it out.

3 simple rules

2008-05-30T16:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday at work was just awful. I have a co-worker who hates me for reasons I have no clue. Well They are supposed to get up 15 people total. Five on each group. Independent people don't count. Cause hello independent. Anywho, I get to work and notice that I have one person up. Independent. The rest had dried poo and/or were soaked from shoulders to knees. Now that just ain't right. That is abuse and neglect. Also none of my trash cans had liners in them. I was furious. I had 20 people to get up and had an hour and 45 minutes to do so. Well since I was ticked off I was unintentionally slamming doors as I went into the rooms. If they were not awake when I went in they were when I slammed the door. These three rules went through my mind the entire time getting them up and ready for breakfast.

Rule #1: Don't talk to me.
Rule #2: You have no choice in the close that you are wearing today.
Rule #3: If it hurts I don't care.

I know mean but I had all of them up toileted, dressed, shaved and hair combed by 7:10am. Yes folks 20 people in an hour and ten minutes. Don't piss me off first thing in the morning. There will be hell to pay.

Creepy

2008-05-27T15:51:00.000-07:00

Ok so this guy who lives in Loveland added me as a friend on MySpace. Can I just say he is really weird? Of course I can this is my blog and I can say whatever I feel like saying. Anyway I have been getting tons of messages from him. I guess if he turns stalkerish I will turn my brothers on him. Good idea. Wait... Great idea. So my mom went to church with me and she noticed that someone that I was interested in brought a girl with him. Well my mom leaned over and told me that the guy I marry will either have to be as strongwilled and opinionated as my brothers or can hold his own otherwise they will mow right over him. Don't worry I will. That is if I ever find a guy to date.

Something I ate

2008-05-26T14:05:00.000-07:00

Last night I didn't crawl into bed until almost midnight because I knew that I could sleep in today. Well that was all well and good but then at around 2:50 am I woke up because my arms felt like they were on fire. I had had an itch and so being the normal response I itched them. Well right after they fired up. I got up and went to the bathroom and noticed that they were both really really really red. There were also bumps and welts almost. So instead of panicking like I would normally I decided to take some Benydryl and wait 30 minutes. If they didn't change then I would have to make an early morning trip to the emergency room. Luckily I was able to fall back asleep and when I woke up at 10am (that is late for me) the redness and bumps were gone. I still have no clue what could have done it. I did move around some stuff that had dust on it but that was earlier in the day. It could have been the pill I took before bed but I took that around 7pm. I am going to have to call my doctor tomorrow to see if there is something else I can take instead. The only thing I ate before bed was a bag of fruit treats.

Common knowledge

2008-05-21T16:52:00.000-07:00

Ok so everyone knows that when you take a shower you wash your hair, face tummy, legs and then lastly your bum and your girl/boy parts. Well this resident at work forgot that system. They washed their hair, check. Washed their tummy, and legs, check. Then wash bum and girl/boy parts, check. Lastly, wash face. I threw up in my mouth a little at that. I told them that I would get them a clean washcloth to wash their face. They said they didn't mind. I had to walk away or I would really lose it. Just thought I would share.

April the Plumber

2008-05-19T16:03:00.000-07:00

So today while my mom was gone I decided to clean out the refrigerator of all the left overs. The salad went down fine, so did the spaghetti sauce. Noodles, not so much. The garbage disposal was still turning but water wasn't going down. First thought, "CRAP!!!!!!!" So I decided to call the bros to see what they could do. Dustin wasn't answering his phone, neither was B.J. then it hit me that Casey was off today and probably just sitting at home on his bum so I called him. He asked what I thought he should do about it. Well come over and look at it would be nice or maybe fix it. But no he was too busy putting together his BBQ. He told me to get Dustin's alan wrench set and find one that fit the hole and then turn it to unwind the noodles. Do that then take the plunger and plunge. Yeah that worked real well I had ick flying back up at me. I almost threw up. Yes it was noodles and water but still ick nonetheless. So I gave up. I finally got a hold of B.J. and he told me to unscrew the pipes because it is probably stuck there. Ok after have ick fly at me there was no way I was going to do that. It would get all over my hands and then there would be a bigger mess to clean up. I walked away. Well when mom got home I told her we had a problem. She was ticked and didn't want to hear what it was. So I decided to put on my big girl pants and try to fix it. I got a bucket, put on gloves, (I generally come everyday with extra latex gloves in my pocket from work), and unscrewed the j-pipe. YEAH!!!!!! All the ick came rushing out and good thing I had gloves on because I had to poke the noodles that were stuck. I did it. I didn't throw up and I didn't get any on me. Yeah me!!!

Holy schmoley

2008-05-12T14:41:00.000-07:00

On Saturday evening Rebecca and I went to dinner and a movie. Yes two girls going to dinner and a movie. We decided to go to The Bent Fork Grill. It was pretty good. Nothing to rave about. Expensive. When we got there there was a waiting list but they said we could sit in the bar if we wanted. There was no wait for that. Any who, after we had gotten our food the waitress was bringing us another round of our sodas and when she was about to set Rebecca's down. CRASH!!! The bottom of her glass was gone. Soda everywhere. Luckily it didn't get on either of our clothes. It was a huge sticky mess. We did get a free dessert out of it. We went and saw What Happens in Vegas. It was funny. Kind of predictable but funny nonetheless. Why is it that when Rebecca and I go to the movies something weird happens. I mean the last time I couldn't get out of my parking spot because of the huge snow drift. Oh well at least it is fun.

Today I went and had an ultrasound for my gall bladder and let me just day this. If they press as hard as they do on pregnant women then they should be punished. I mean she told me that the goop was going to be cold but she didn't say that it was going to feel like she just took it out of the freezer. She tried multiple times to shove the wand thingy under my ribcage and tried to touch my spine from the side. I am going to have bruises on my tummy. Good thing no one but me will see them but if they hurt others will hear about it. After that trauma I went and had some blood drawn. The person doing it couldn't find a vein. Hey here is a thought ask me where they usually stick me. Don't just start poking. After she tried she asked if she could use the vein in my hand. I was all sure why not. BIG FREAKING MISTAKE!!!! It hurt like H-E-double hockey sticks!!! She was moving it around and I think I have multiple holes in that vein as the result. Even then she could get the blood to flow. She ended up going and getting someone to help her. She found one first time. So I now have three extra holes in my arm. The one on my hand is going to leave a bruise for sure.

It's been a while

2008-05-08T15:28:00.000-07:00

I guess that it is a good thing that I write in my personal journal more then on here. So in the time that I last updated there was a 25th anniversary concert for the Colorado Mormon Chorale. It was ok. The past 5 conductors were there and each conducted two songs. The concert would have only been about an hour to an hour and 15 minutes but every time they had to introduce a new conductor they took forever. The concert was almost 2 1/2 hours. Then afterwards there was a dinner for all the current and past members. It was good. When we got home after midnight my mom realized that she had forgotten her make-up bag at the stake center in Highlands Ranch. She really needed it because A.) it had all of her make-up in it. B.) It had her glasses in it. C.) the total of all items was over $500.00 and couldn't be replaced. I tried to catch someone that was still there but everyone was already gone. So being the good daughter I got up early Sunday morning and drove to Highlands Ranch and got it. It was a good thing it was still there.

Yesterday I watched Zoey because Amy's parents couldn't for some reason. So mom and I took her to Kohls and Wal-Mart with us. We wore her out. Her nap was two hours later then she normally takes it but B.J. went to the Eagles game with Amy so my mom watched her until they got home. We bought her two cute new outfits, a book and a Elmo video. That kid is spoiled but hey she is just too darn cute.

I had my re-audition last night at the Zuni building. It went really good I think. I reaffirmed to him that I am a 1st soprano. He asked me what I would do if I was put as a 2nd soprano again. I told him I would be heartbroken. What I didn't tell him was that I would not return if that was the case. He said that I looked malcontent all season when I was there. I told him that I was there every week and sang 2nd. I hated it to no end but I was there and sang it.

Useless information I shared with the accompanist. She had 17 people at her house this weekend because her daughter was having her baby blessed. She mentioned that one of the kids had dried on poop and it took forever to scrub off and the poor baby's bum was red. I told her to use shaving cream. It works. It loosens it up and it smells good. Just thought I would share that.

Holy Crap

2008-05-01T15:33:00.000-07:00

So other then the last week being a humongeous pain in the butt everything is normal. I went to the Dr.'s yesterday about my gall bladder only to be told that she wanted to try an experiment. I know what food irritates my tummy and gall bladder but she gave me some samples to take for a week and then after that week she said to eat something that irritates it and see what happens. If it hurts like the dickens then I have to get an ultrasound. She wants one either way but she wants to wait and see about the experiment. Also stupid me mentioned my knee hurting when I squat. I know you are probably thinking, " Well stop squating." Easier said then done. She wants me to get an x-ray. The CNA that took my B/P asked me if the numbers sounded right. You took the freaking thing you should know. I know what my normal B/P is so it was funny to see her question herself. You never ask the patient something like that. It makes you look dumb. On a good note I lost an additional 2 pounds since I last was checked. Yeah me.

I have to share this. Today the residents made popcorn balls and one resident told me this,
" There is nothing worse then a popcorn fart." Ok thanks for sharing. This person is in their own little world 99.9% of the time.

What to do and more ramblings

2008-04-22T14:50:00.000-07:00

So now that I have changed the background of my blog the stupid thing lost all of my links and it won't let me get them back. Stupid thing. I even tried reloading and it still didn't work, I went back to the boring template and still didn't work. Someone fix it.

Last night we had a family council meeting and holy cow. I guess it is good to know that my brothers have the ladies' back.

I have so much music it is crazy. I got two boxes from people. I have been through it all and now I am trying to catalogue it so instead of having to go through the whole thing I can just look in the book to see if I have it or not and what parts it is. It took forever to write down all the names of the songs so now all I have to do is put them in the computer.

Instead of going to choir tomorrow night my mom and I are going to an Eagles Hockey game. Anyone jealous? I am so glad that I have tomorrow off because I get to sleep in. The last couple of nights I have been dreaming about Panama City. Why you ask? I have no freaking clue. Everytime I almost have it figured out my blasted alarm goes off and I have to get up. It is beginning to tick me off. A few weeks ago I had a dream where a name kept being said over and over. I finally got up and wrote it down and will have to look into it later. I am not sure if it is a name of a person or a place. I guess I will have to see.

We are getting out hot water heater replaced tomorrow so I have to make sure that I have all of my laundry done by the time he gets here in the morning. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate doing laundry. It takes too long and I will not ever go to a laundry mat ever again to get it all done at once.

Still at the sucky job hopefully with corporate there they will get their head out of where it has been for the past few months and things will get better. Hopefully I won't be there much longer.

Whoo Hoo

2008-04-19T16:16:00.000-07:00

I have a cool background. Thanks Becca. So today my mom told me I had to quit my job before state comes in a shuts it down. She doesn't care where I get a job. Just get out of where I am. I am seriously thinking about giving notice on Monday.

Ramblings

2008-04-18T16:17:00.000-07:00

Ramble #1
My blog layout is so boring. I need to pep it up a bit. Need some help. Something fun, something me.

Ramble #2
I am excited that Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is coming out in November. You tube is already putting up behind the scene things and interviews and such.

Ramble #3
I lost 3 pounds. whooo hooo!!!

Ramble #4
This lady in my moms ward gave me some music and some pieces are copyrighted in 1910. They are really old. I am almost afraid to play them. Oh yeah I can play them I am so freaking excited about that.

Ramble #5
I am reauditioning for Chorale. Tired of pretending to be what I am not. (although I have been singing what I want.)

Going crazy

2008-04-18T15:57:00.000-07:00

Oh the joys of going to work only to find out yet again you and one other aid showed up. What is with people? I know this job stinks but really. I am so worn out that I go to bed, no more like fall, into bed around 7:30 or 8pm. I work the regular eight hours but it feels like so much more. It is really sad when you have to hide out in the bathroom just to get either quiet time or just a break. Those outside the door probably think I have a gastrointestinal problem but I am not the only one to take refuge in the bathroom. The walls are pretty thick so when the resident who is constantly yelling you just shut the door and aww quiet. The yeller today kept asking where he should go. After about ten minutes of yelling I was ready to tell him exactly where he could go. Since we can't use tape of any kind I had to think of some other way to make him quiet. I had asked him to stop yelling and he asked me who I thought I was. Being the smarty-pants that I am I told him I was the President. Boy did that shut him up. Yes, I found a way. Another thing about the job is that I learn alot of new vocabulary and word usage not just daily but sometimes by the minute. I have never had a job where someone told me where to go, what to do, or where to stick it or blow it within a ten minute period. Such fun. One resident likes to tell me that I don't like her much and when I tell her that is a stupid comment she then asks me if I think she is stupid. Argh!!! I need a new job.

With my dad's re-marriage coming up my mom has had to write a letter stating that she is ok with a sealing cancellation so he can get married in the temple. I had poured over my journals to help her with this. She sent me a copy of this letter to get my input since this decision involves me. Boy, I never wanted to think of myself as a child with an abusive parent but after reading the letter and remembering I am in fact a child with an abusive parent. I am not a child obviously, but when most of this was going on it was my growing up years. I can't not say enough how glad that I was raised by my mother who does love unconditionally unlike my father who only loved us when we did what he wanted. I know I have to forgive him but there are somethings that are going to take more time. I just have to hope that he changes for this next marriage to work.

There are no words

2008-04-16T08:42:00.000-07:00

For the past week we have been working short at work. The facility has enough residents and enough quantity care for them to allow 4 CNA's to work each shift. We have residents that require just a little more care then most so we need the extra person. Well every freaking day some bonehead would either call in sick or just not show up. Do they discipline these people? Nope they just carry on. Do they find someone else to come in and work? Nope. I am tired of a job where I get screwed out of breaks and lunches. At least I get paid for them because I am not taking them but still everyone needs a break from the insanity. Then yesterday was the day that broke the camels back. One person called in and two didn't even bother to show up or call in saying they wouldn't be there. So how many CNA's does that leave on the west wing? Two. Over 40 some patients. That is over 20 per CNA. Way too many for the state requirement. ( 8-10 residents per CNA) Which doesn't happen anyway. On the days that we do have 4 CNA's I have anywhere between 12-16. I was half tempted to call state and report it. It is not only resident abuse it is staff abuse and either one they have zero tolerance. I was so ticked off yesterday I didn't even bother to take my blood pressure because I knew that it would be off the charts. I told my mom that in a text message and her reply was so funny. "OMG that is wack. Do what you gotta do." The fact that she would send that kind of reply was funny but the fact that she spelled whack wrong was even funnier.

Then last night one of the guys that my mom and I carpool with to Chorale came over to fix the computer. My mom was taking some kind of test and the computer froze so she called the help desk and go a hold of an idiot. He had her do something and the whole computer went down. We couldn't open anything. So Jason came over and fixed it and told us what we needed to do. So it is back up and running again obviously. He had to bring his three girls because his wife works nights. I took the two older girls over to the park for awhile but as soon as people started bringing their dogs they wanted to go back. They were afraid of them. The youngest was 9 months old so she stayed with her dad. When we got back they watched The Little Mermaid. I didn't get to bed until after 1am because I couldn't put my book down. It was good. It had been awhile since I read one book in a day. I used to to it quite often but now I don't just sit and do nothing for my job.

Yesterday two other co-workers and I decided to do a fat-camp. The prize is whoever loses the most weight in one month gets to pick the movie that the other two will take the winner to. Two of us weigh the same. With all the running around I have to do at work everyday it shouldn't be too hard. I mean I lost 3 pounds since the last time I weighed myself. It was probably about a week ago so that is good. If I got back to the what I was in high school I would be happy.

I decided to hold off on getting a new car. All three of my brothers told me that it isn't a good time to buy a car. Since they pretty much know what they are talking about I went with it. Now I just need something else to do today.

annoyance then cute

2008-04-12T16:31:00.000-07:00

Yesterday worked sucked. We worked short, had residents that were loud and obnoxious, and co-workers who were slacking off. Now I am all for teamwork but I will not be taken advantage of anymore. I will do my work and then help if needed.

Then last night we went to dinner with my brother and niece because my sister-in-law had to go to the Eagles game. She is sometimes the mascot and sometimes she follows the other one around. They take turns. Anyway, Zoey was trying to get out of her high chair and would say, "uppies" this is a mixture of up and please. When B.J. told her no she would look and anyone and say "pees" each one a little quieter. It was just too darn cute.

One not so scary thing, one dumb thing, and two kinda decisions

2008-04-10T19:11:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my day off. It started out ok and then I opened my bank site to see how much my check was and I was shocked. It was $328 shorter then the previous one and I only took one extra day off. Boy if you think about it that one day I could have made that $328. Something is wrong. It could be that they didn't add in the day I was suspended back into this check. Or someone did something wrong. This limited the fun I was going to have.

Last night at Chorale we were running through music that we are singing for the 25th Anniversary of the Colorado Mormon Chorale and there is one song that has a solo. I decided to go for it. I don't want to jinx it so I will have to let you know on that end.

Then when I was settling myself in bed last night I poked my eye like you would not believe. When I put my contact in this morning it felt like it was on fire. Did I forget to mention that it feels like it is being held in place by one little string of eye connector stuff? Yup. I thought I was going to have a black eye or at least swollen.

I have decided that on my day off next Wednesday I am going to go and look for a new/used vehicle. What am a looking for in this new/used vehicle you ask? Well I will tell you. A/C, CD player, and either 4Wheel drive or All Wheel Drive. The payments have to be around what I am paying now for my car. I am not picky about the color but I will refuse a booger colored vehicle. Green isn't my color. Oh and I have to look good driving it. I drove my brothers big red truck last week and I looked GOOD! I am just saying.

I have also decided that I might apply for something that will require a lot of change. I have to make a video about me and why I want to do this and why I think I deserve to participate. I am not going to tell you what it is because I haven't totally decided but it is close. I might tell some of you but not all. Sorry about that.

I will keep you informed of what I do.

Totally flumoxed

2008-04-07T14:22:00.000-07:00

So I was given a budget to get music for the ward choir and at first I thought how cool is this? Now I am so frustrated it is drving me mad. One website won't let you order online you have to call in your order, one music shop closed down and now you have to go to Fort Collins if you want regualr music. What did I do? I contacted people who order music almost all the time to see where they get theirs. Oh did I mention that one website drove me nuts. It kept taking me to someplace I didn't want. It would say that I spelled the Composers name wrong. Um no I didn't because I had a piece of their music in my hand and it came from your publishing house. So if there is a spelling error it is on them. So After getting responses back I went to work. Now I just have to find some songs that are easy enough but are good. Any suggestions would be very very very helpful.

Cutest little shopper

2008-04-01T16:21:00.000-07:00

So on Saturday my mom and I watched Zoey. Since it was still early we decided to go out to Centerra. I needed new shoes for work and we needed to return some shoes that we got Zoey for Easter that didn't fit right. After leaving Famous Footwear we walked down to Childrens Palace. Zoey walked the whole way. While in the store she was looking on the racks that were on her level. It was just too cute.

Suspended

2008-03-31T14:53:00.000-07:00

So yesterday after church I notice that I have a voice message. It was the scheduler from work telling me that I needed to call the administrator. So I called him and he told me that he needed to talk to me before I could work the floor. I knew that after the incident last week things would have to be investigated. But I had no idea that I would be pulled from the floor. So I got a extra day off. When I went in I had to tell him why I thought she would accuse me of neglect and abuse. I told them that the neglect was bunk because the resident in question was turned when they were supposed to be and I always always always had someone come and help me because of this persons pain. You would barely touch them and they would cry out in agony. Plus they were required to have two people reposition them. As for the abuse accusation this resident was hard of hearing and you would have to talk loudly for them to hear. The snotty nurse knows that it was me who turned her into the State Board of Nursing for almost giving a resident, who was not hers by the way, the wrong meds. That resident was my aunt and when I told my mom and other Aunt about it, they are my aunt and grandma's POA's, they wanted to know who they could report it to. I told them and they both asked me to report it since I knew what to do. The administrator and director of nursing are going to talk to others that I work with. So hopefully I will be able to go back to work on Thursday like scheduled. My mom called me this morning to see how I was doing and if I slept well. I am fine and I slept really good because I did nothing wrong.

Tomorrow I am spending the day at my dad's house going through some stuff like toys and stuff that we had left there. He has moved his wedding up to May 15th. I asked him why and he said why wait. So he is wanting to get rid of some of the stuff in the basement that is mine and my brothers. So i am borrowing my brothers truck and going.

On Wednesday I have a interview at Apple One in Greeley to get set up with them. I really hope that I will be able to find a new job fairly soon because I really need to. My health depends on it.

Whoa!!!

2008-03-28T20:41:00.000-07:00

So first let me preface this by saying that any "BEEP" used in this story is the "F" word. No other swear word was used at any time unless I tell ya. So here we go.

Yesterday at work was a pain in the bum to begin with because working with only three CNA's with around 57-60 residents is a trial in its self. At the end of the day I was sitting up at the nurses station getting ready to give report to my relief when all of the sudden the snotty nurse comes around the corner, trips on some boxes, spills her soda EVERYWHERE and she yells really loudly, "I want these BEEPING boxes moved now!" Me being the nice person I can be asked of she was ok. She stomped off in search of something. We all thought she was going to go get some towels to clean up her mess. Nope we ended up having a housekeeper who was luckily close by give us her mop to clean it up. We moved the boxes and all was well. NOT!! Snotty came back and started to yell some more only this time it wasn't at what she was mad at. I was still giving report. I was sitting behind the desk in a chair and she pushed the chair tried to tip me out of it and said, "Get up we are getting ready to give report." My response was ," I am giving report." Her reply was, "Shut the BEEP up!" I stood up and tried to continue with what I was doing thinking that all was said and done. No chance of that, she continued right on saying that I was a worthless BEEPING CNA, I never did my BEEPING job, I shouldn't even be BEEPING working here, and the last straw was, you are a BEEPING abuser. What the crap. I just let her vent. I then told her politely that she was acting unprofessional and inappropriate. Oh there were tons of witnesses. The four CNA's coming on shift, the three that were leaving after report was given, my nurse, therapy department manager, residents, family members of some residents, and the best was a new admit and his wife. He had only been there for less then an hour. Anywho on with the story. At this time myself and three other CNA's went in search of the Director of Nursing to report this incident. When we found her and told her what had happened she made the comment that she might be working the floor. She called snotty nurse and my nurse into her office and they were in there a good 10-15 minutes. When snotty nurse came out she was crying. She grabbed her purse and as she walked passed me she called me a BEEPING witch with a "B" she then proceeded to yell that she didn't know why she was losing her BEEPING job over some BEEPING stupid boxes when I was still there and I BEEPING abuse residents. Well first off lady you lost your job because you haven't used a toilet brush in your mouth for a very long time and it needs to desperately be cleaned out with soap, secondly you verbally attacked someone (me), and made false claims. Then she said, "No one BEEPING likes you." Like I care if anyone likes me, yes it is nice and easier on the job if people like me but I can get along on my own. Two of the CNA's told her not to speak for them. She then said, " You don't BEEPING work with her." At this point the DON had to escort her out of the facility. After everything was done and report was finally finished it was 2:40pm 40 minutes past the end of my shift. A few of the CNA's were amazed at how I kept my cool. I never once raised my voice, I never struck back at her with hurtful things, nothing. I just stood there and let her dig her own grave. I guess it comes from years of verbal abuse from my father. I got stronger and stronger and could stay calm and not let it bother me. A couple of them said that if she said those things to them they would have punched her. I know I could have taken her but the women has close to 300 pounds on me so I feared a a little for my safety but then again I am younger and faster. I did feel bad for her later on in the evening but then I thought, " No she needs to pay the consequences of her actions."

When I got to work this morning I had to write up a grievance report and then my nurse and I had to talk to the administrator about the whole thing. He wanted me to tell him exactly what happened. With all the cussing I asked if he wanted word for word of if he wanted me to clean it up a little. He said word for word. Luckily my nurse knew how uncomfortable I was about saying that word she would say it for me. Snotty nurse came in to talk to the administrator about getting her job back. No way in hades lady. Later we found out that snotty nurse is bipolar. Yeah like we need a nurse who has that, she is obviously off her meds and off her rocker. It is bad enough we have residents that have that but to have a nurse with it. Let me just say that I felt even dirtier after work yesterday then I ever have in the two years I have been there. And that is bad considering I come home most days with something on my scrubs.

What a rush

2008-03-21T13:14:00.000-07:00

So last night was the first performance of Savior of the World. It was such a blast. I mean running through it in rehearsals is nothing compared to performing in front of a live audience. Everything seemed to run smoothly but with a few little bumps. Hopefully those will be fixed for tonight. We finally got to see the second act and holy cow was it awesome. It had me in tears.

Yesterday afternoon I had to meet my mom at the park and ride because she was coming straight from work well I ran out of time to do my hair at home so I left the curlers in my hair and went on my way. Well when I pulled into the parking spot I looked around and across from me was a great looking guy. Here I am make up on almost as bad as a two bit hussy and in curlers no less. I tried to get a picture to send to some girlies that I was texting but I couldn't quite get it without making it obvious. So needless to say it was almost as bad as the whole phone going off in Wal-Mart with the ringtone set as, "Someday my Prince will come."

To top off the day as I was blowdrying my hair all of the sudden sparks literally flew out of the dryer. In lightening speed I turned it off, dropped it on the floor and ran to the mirror to see if any hair had been singed. Lucky for me everything was fine. I am now a proud owner of a brand spanking new blowdryer.

What next

2008-03-17T14:47:00.000-07:00

So this weekend was beyond crazy. Friday I had to work and then I had to scream home, shower and out on my chorale dress and be ready to meet the carpool at 4:30 to drive down to Arvada. That wasn't the crazy day. Saturday was. Since I am in the Savior of the World production we have been having rehearsals every Saturday morning since January. Well Saturday we had to be there at 8:45am to run through the scene I am in. (my mom is also in the production and in the same scene) After that they had a meeting that lasted a while so we didn't get back home until about 1:30. We then raced to Wal-Mart got our shopping done, then raced home to change and get cute for the concert in Castlerock. We had to meet the carpool at 4:15pm. I rode down with curlers still in my hair. Talk about a crazy day. Then yesterday I had to be to church early to run through a song that a group of us is singing Easter Sunday. After church was the potluck. I was going to go home and take a nap afterwards but wasn't tired. Stupid me answered my phone when it rang only to find out that my father woke up to a brand new day. Last time I talked to him he was yelling at me over the phone and remembering that I didn't have to listen to him I hung up on him. Good call. Well he wanted me to ask my mom to call him, like that is going to happen EVER, he wanted to ask her if she would agree to a sealing cancellation. WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!! He said he had her number but he didn't know where it was. Yeah right you know exactly where that number is. You just wanted me to tell you that she got the number changed because you were harrassing her. JERK!!! I told him I would give her the message. I then went to my mom's room and relayed the message. She just layed there. Trying her hardest not to cry. When I asked her what she thought all she said was that if she agreed she wouldn't be sealed to anyone because the children stay sealed to the priesthood holder. She would have no one. I didn't know any different so I had no idea. All I knew is that I didn't want to be sealed just to him. If that was the case I would see what could be done. I am not a fan of being sealed to someone who would lie, cheat, steal, munipulate for all eternity. So it was a really rough night. Neither of us slept worth a darn. (not good considering the week we are going to have with the production performances and extra rehearsals) She is trying to get a hold of someone who can tell her what happens. I decided that I would get on lds.org and see if there was anything on there. I found an article that said that the children are sealed to both parents even if there is a sealing cancellation between them. I just hope that that is the information she recieves from the stake president. It will be hard living the rest of my life if I knew I would lose my mother for eternity. I couldn't handle that.

Oh freak NO!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-03-01T14:00:00.001-08:00

Since I grew up in Loveland there has been a family of all boys. They are members and they are just plain weird. The oldest is a few years older then me but has been a constant stalker. He dated one of my friends in Jr High (he was already in high school), knocked her up and left. Just what every girl in eighth grade wants to be, a pre-teen mother. Anyway my friend kept the baby and now he has custody of her. I think she might be of age now so I don't know where she is. Anywho, Every activity I went to in Fort Collins, every dance even in high school he was there. Following me around. Enough is enough!!! I go and open my e-mail and right there is a message saying that he added me as a friend on facebook. My first response was, "OH HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!" I am glad that I can ignore his request. ( I will brush my mouth out with soap later) He thinks I like him and that if he stalks me enough I will give in and go out with him. I will go out with ANYONE but HIM!!! Short, fat, tall, skinny. Just not him. I have no problems saying no to him. There is no guilt. Trust me he has asked and I have replied guilt free.

What the crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-02-26T13:40:00.000-08:00

I have no idea where to even begin...Lets just say that I feel like the ugliest person in the world who is this sad pathetic loser who can't get what she wants or yearns for. I know I will probably get calls about this but I really don't care it is my blog and I will say what I want. First off, all my life I have been told it shouldn't matter what you look like on the outside. It is what is on the inside that counts. One word. CRAP!!! People are so superficial that they can't look past the outside. All they see is fat, thinness, or scars, or whatever there might be on the surface. They don't want to take the time getting to know someone. If I went by looks alone I wouldn't have met some of the wonderful people who are in my life. People who have what they want have no clue to what those of us that are struggling for it go through. I know they have struggles of their own but still. They don't know what it feels like to be passed over for the person standing next to them. The person who is prettier then them. They don't know what it is like to feel like they don't matter. Even my brothers have made comments about my singleness. Here they are either married, engaged or dating and their older sister is nothing. I hate feeling like this. I hate knowing that there is a possiblity that it will never happen for me. I hate having a leader, a person I look up to, tell me that maybe if I cut my hair guys would be more interested. That is just like telling me, " Oh your too fat for me or your too ugly I don't want to be seen with you." Thanks for that. Like I don't already feel that way. I know it is wrong to feel so insecure about these things but seriously, everywhere I turn it turns into the same thing. I don't want people to feel guilty I just want them to look past the outside. Is that too much to ask. I even went to a Single Adult activity and put myself out there to no help. Sometimes I feel like being LDS is what makes everything harder. I sometimes think that if I wasn't things would be alot different. But then I know that I would feel like something is missing. I would have a whole different load of problems. I am working on reaching my goals, my weight, my education, my life, my health, but sometimes when things like this happen I feel like it isn't worth it. I feel like I am lower then the dirt on someones shoe. Why do I let things like this get to me? I was born that way. I was born with compassion for others. I was raised to look past the outer wall of a person. Well there it is people, the thoughts in my heart as of right now. If you are going to stomp please be gentle.

For the Love of

2008-02-25T15:33:00.000-08:00

So I already knew that Monday was going to be the crappiest day because I was tired, hate my job, and didn't really want to get up. So once I get to work I discover that one of the CNA's decided that she too didn't want to come to work and blamed it on not having a car, problem solved someone said they would come and get her. Next excuse, her babysitter didn't want to watch her kids. So here we are starting the day off a person short. Then around 6:45am I get a call from the Larimer County Sheriffs office stating that they had just gotten a 911 call from a resident who knows where they live. They wanted to know if everything was ok. They said that he requested an ambulance because he had the poopies. She asked if he was confused. Instead of laughing at this dispatcher I told her that she needed to talk to his nurse. Of course this resident is confused. He wanted an ambulance to take him to the hospital for having the poopies. Here is a great idea, don't give people who are a little crazy cell phones. I am just saying.

On Saturday night I was shown a totally awesome and delicious way to drink hot chocolate. First you make the hot chocolate then you take a thin mint bite off a tiny part of one side and then another tiny part on the opposite side and then put it in the hot chocolate and suck on the cookie like a straw. After you get a drink you need to hurry up and put the cookie in your mouth and let me just say that it is heavenly. Whoever thought of that is a pure genius.

Let the hissy fit begin

2008-02-19T13:41:00.000-08:00

So all four of us kids and my sister-in-law decided that we were not going to tell our mom about our dad's upcoming re-marriage. We didn't know how she would take it and with everything that she has been through we didn't want to add to the stress. It was a good decision. We even kept her busy when he had her visiting two weeks ago. We made sure that while they were at church they didn't see eachother. Their wards overlap a bit so there was that possibility. Well that entire plan got blown to poopie do. We went to my brother and his fiancee's house and after dinner we were sitting around talking and Megan just started talking, " I am going to tell you something that no one wants to tell you." All eyes got big daggers were thrown to get her to shut up. My first thought was great she is pregnant and they have to move the wedding up. But oh no she says this, " Curtis is getting remarried on October 9 to a women named Marion who lives in Alamosa. They have known each other for a while." We thought mom's head was going to explode. Nope all she said was that poor women. Ha!! She said that she was happy that he will be out of her life and that she can truly feel safe. Crap if we had known that we would have told her sooner. My mom actually knows this women. The reason for the October 9 date is because it is both of their birthdays. Kind of stupid if you ask me. She said that their mom's know eachother and that they grew up together. Some info I got from Megan about Marion is that she is a professor at Adams State College. Darn good thing I decided not to go there. Dad still wants us to go to his wedding but with Casey and Megan's on the 11th we probably won't be able to. You know we have the bachelorette/Bachelor parties, the rehearsal dinner, other more fun activities to partake in. It is a toss up.

Can the floor just open and suck me in?

2008-02-19T13:36:00.001-08:00

So today I was shopping and was standing looking at cards when my stupid phone rang for the billionth time. Wait lets back up a bit. So standing in the card aisle looking at cards of course I noticed right next to me the hottest of all hotties standing there. He looked like he had just gotten off the greek god express. Tall dark hair gorgeous blue eyes that you could just swim in and his build, oh his build. Had me all twitter pated that's for sure. When all of the sudden my phone rang. Not a bad thing to happen but when your ringtone is, "Someday my prince will come." you just wish the floor would open up and swallow you whole. I kinda chuckled silenced it and walked rather quickly away. I need to find a new ringtone so this doesn't happen again.

Whatever

2008-02-17T16:13:00.000-08:00

So yesterday I went to my first single adult valentine dinner/dance. All I can say about it is that the food was good and it was funny to watch the older singles dance to music that was obviously not from their generation. I did the required dress up and I looked good. But when it came time for the dancing did anyone ask me? That would be a big fat NO!!! I was fresh meat for petes sake. Did I smell funny? Did I look funny? Not even the guys I knew asked. Well one left because he doesn't like dancing but the other two? I get that they were meeting new people but man one dance was all. At one point I felt stupid and pathetic that I just decided to go home. At least at home... I hate going to things that are out of my comfort zone. I know I should have asked someone to dance but some of us know how hard it was for me to ask someone out on a date. Eventhough we all know that they would say yes. I still felt loserish. (that is a word in April's dictionary!) (hah spell check didn't even tag it so it must be a word)

I got my taxes filed yesterday. My brother came over and we filed them for free online. I get money back I am so excited. It only took about 45 minutes. I will have the money in my hot hand in 3-4 weeks. Yeah. I haven't decided if I am going to buy an HD TV or a laptop. I would probably get more use out of the HD TV then the laptop but then on the laptop I could journal. Not like this but personal stuff. I do journal every week at church and then if I need to finish thoughts and whatnot I do at home.

I am so excited about being in the cast of Savior of the World. Even in the rehearsals you can feel the spirit. It is just so...

Put me out of my misery

2008-02-12T15:56:00.000-08:00

These past few days have been a killer. I had a three day weekend off so that should be good but it was so jam packed with things it was crazy. Friday night dad called and said that he wanted me to meet Marion. Who is Marion you might ask. It is the women he is marrying on October 9, 2008. (oh it is his birthday.) I only found out about this women less then a week ago and he said that he wanted us to meet her but it wouldn't be for awhile. Then out of the blue he calls and says that she is in town for the weekend. WHAT!!! I had plans Friday night. I was going to an activity at church. It was called Speed dating but was later turned into speed friendshipping. Yup speed friendshipping. It was fun. Dad then told me to call him Saturday when I had time to come and meet her. Then Saturday morning I had rehearsal. It ran late but it is getting down to the wire and things need to be happening quickly. After that was the Broadcast then after that mom and I did out Wal-Mart shopping. Needless to say I didn't call. Sunday was church. He called right in the middle of Relief Society. I called back after church. He said that she already left. They went to church and then she went back to her home in Alamosa. The only one of us kids that met her was Casey and that was only because he was broadsided. He went to dad's house to get something and didn't even know she was there until it was too late. His first response was not good. When he told me about her he said that she was chubby, short, had shaved eyebrows that were then colored in with pencil and that she was hit multiple times with the ugly stick. My dad tends to go for the ladies that have no self-respect and need taken care of. They have no idea what they are in for. They don't know about the years of emotional and mental abuse that this man dishes out without a blink of an eye. I never wanted to believe it but then once he started doing it to me I realized that it had been going on for quite awhile. My eyes are wide open. I just feel sorry for Marion. He wants me to come to his temple wedding. Right now I am leaning towards no. On Monday I went to Boulder to have lunch with some friends because a training got cancelled and I had already made the plans to meet up. It was good. The weather however was nuts. The wind was blowing so freaking hard, it got cloudy, snowed, stopped snowing, got sunshiny but still the wind still blew like mad. I went into Wal-Mart long enough to get a printer cartridge and when I came out it was a white out. About an hour later the sun was out and the stupid wind was still blowing. Then later that night was FHE. The box dinner. It was fun. Met the green eyed monster there too.

Things not to do

2008-02-08T14:12:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wondered what would happen if you tried something? Just kidding. This is what happened in the last 24 hours. 1. Ate a bunch of candy hearts before going to bed and thought I was going to die from a stomach ache. Holy cow. 2. I chug-a-lugged a thing of chocolate milk. Every smell made my tummy turn. They were cooking fish because it is Friday and they have fish (or so they say it is fish) and the smell was bad. I made a comment at how it never bothered me before but today it did . Just drank my chocolate milk too fast and made my tummy hurt. I already figured out that if I eat ice cream before I go to bed I have the weirdest dreams.

Ow and cute

2008-02-06T13:51:00.000-08:00

After last weeks visit to my primary care provider I was instructed that I needed to have some blood work done. No biggie. So since I had today off I got up and dressed and headed to the blood suckers. When I got there I was prepaired to pay but since my doctor requested it I didn't have to. So that is and extra $55 that stays in my pocket. Once I got back there I rolled up my sleeve and this lady tied that elastic band thingy around my arm. Then she started pushing and poking trying to find a vein. Hello there is one right there. Can't you see it. It is right under the skin and is bulging. Use that one. Nope, had to roll up my other sleeve. The process of poking and pushing began again. When she found one that she thought was good she cleaned the area, dried it off, and then stuck in the needle. I have had blood drawn alot in my life due to being an accident prone child but the needle she used was HUGE I tell you. Usually I don't even feel it when they stick it in. This time I did. Not only did she have to fill up one vile she had to fill up three rather large ones and then a small one. After all the blood they took she didn't even offer me a cookie or juice or anything. I was told not to eat 10-12 hours prior to the draw. I thought I was going to pass out. After she put the cotton ball on my arm she had me take it away and it was still bleeding. So she taped it down and sent me on my way. My arm now hurts to bend. It is going to be bruised I just know it.

After that adventure I went out to Centerra and looked for some shoes. I found some really cute ones. I needed some new shoes but I couldn't ever find any that we adult appropriat. All the ones that I found were like I was twelve. But these ones are perfect. They are comfortable and they have traction on them so I don't biff it because I can still be a tad accident prone. All in all it was worth getting poked because I rewarded myself with a new pair of totally cute shoes.

What can I do?

2008-02-03T16:41:00.000-08:00

So today I had a meeting and left it throughly confused. I know that some of the stuff he told me was stuff I really needed to hear but then when I asked him something he gave me a cryptic confusing answer. He asked me about my personal relationships. Enter blank stare here. I asked my personal relationships? As in dating or family? He said dating. I told him about my date yesterday and he asked some other questions and then gave me the cryptic counsel. What?! Then he asked who I was interested in and I told him and he said that they were all good choices. He said they were good men. I guess I just need to trust.

Later I was told something that caused a little twinge. This person stated that they didn't want me to be mad and I am not mad by any means. It just poked. I don't want to lose another guy to a friend. But if I do I guess I will have to get over it. I got through it once I can get through it again. This friend deserves to be happy too. This person was given a task and they need to complete it and report. I am at a loss.

What a week

2008-02-02T18:52:00.000-08:00

This week started off ok. I got up went to work on Monday, came home and did nothing but veg out. Woke up Tuesday felt like crap and still had to go to work. While there I experienced lightheadedness, hot flash and then a whopper of a migraine. How did those come to me you ask? My stupid stressful job. Yup, it was bad. My nurse told me to sit down so she could take my blood pressure. 130/100 not good. So I sat there for a little while longer and then it got to the point where I had to get back to work. No one else was going to dress my residents and get them to breakfast. After breakfast the nurse took it again. 140/110 really not good. So on my break I went to call my doctor to get an appointment. She couldn't get me in until Friday afternoon. So I made the appointment.

On Wednesday afternoon I went to the Urgent Care to get treated for a sinus infection. Those are awful. She gave me some antibiotics and some very NICE cough syrup. This cough syrup has codeine in it. It knocks me out cold. Later that night we were on our way to Chorale and I tried to stay awake. I really did. I slept the entire way down. It was snowing so hard I wished that we had turned around. We didn't of course. We kept on going. We ended up having to use a GPS unit to tell us where our turn was. We get there and it had been cancelled. Well thanks so much for telling us. I tried really hard to stay awake for the drive home but failed again. I woke up startled because we were turning a corner rather fast so I thought we were spinning. The last time I had my eyes open was when there was alot of snow on the ground. I honestly thought we were spinning out of control. They just laughed at me.

Thursday came and went. We didn't go to voice lessons because I was still stuffed up and really didn't feel like singing. While sitting watching TV my dad calls and lays something so upsetting on me I wanted to hang up on him. He told me that he was thinking about getting remarried. My parents haven't even been divorced for 6 months yet. I while back he asked me what I thought about him dating and I said to do whatever makes him happy. Boy am I kicking myself now. All he told me was that he met this girl who lives in Alamosa. No name, no age, nothing. For all I knew I could expect to have a step-mother 2-3 years older then me. I finally had to flat out ask if she had any children. She has three. Two sons and a daughter. Like I need more brothers, I am perfectly happy with the three I've got. He also said that he was going to sell the house and move to Alamosa. Good luck. See you when you come to visit because I won't be driving the 6 hours to see you. I was so pissed off that I couldn't sleep. Even my coma inducing cough syrup didn't work. We as the four children of our parents have decided not to tell mom because we don't want to see her hurt. (Although she says she isn't ready to date a co-worker nudged her when another hospital employee was checking her out as he walked by.)

Friday came and had to work. We were short a person so I had more residents then I normally would. I hate days like that. After work I went to the doctors and we discussed my family history of high blood pressure. Mom, dad, grandma. So the first thing she did was tell me she needed to get an EKG. My first thought was, " I want my mommy!" I know I am an adult and can go to the doctors alone but when she said EKG it freaked me out. She gave me a gown and told me to strip from the waist up. That is different usually it is the other way around. Any who moving on. Oh forgot to mention she said to have the opening in the front. So after doing that the MA came in and hooked me up to the machine. Talk about personal space. Two stickies went on my legs one on each arm and then a couple more around my heart area. Word of advice to people attaching anything to anyones bare skin. WARM UP YOUR HANDS BEFORE YOU GO TOUCHING!!!!! I had to lay still for a few minutes and then she went to show the doctor the results and then I was unattached. At that point I could get dressed. I am not a fan of being naked partially or fully in front of anyone. Doctor or not. I lock the bathroom door when I am in the shower even when I am the only one home. After getting dressed my doctor came back in and told me that she wanted me to get some blood work done. So this Wednesday while I am off I am going to get it done. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate going to the doctors? I do.

Saturday, oh what a blessed day. Didn't have to work. Bonus points for that. I went to my Savior of the World rehearsal, watched President Hinckley's funeral, and went on a date. The rehearsal was awesome. I am so greatful to be a part of something so wonderful. The spirit that I feel each week is so much. The story it tells and the feelings of it is beyond words. After that we came home and watch President Hinckley's funeral. What a great man he was. I didn't cry until the end when the MoTab was singing the closing song and they were showing clips of him throughout the years. What a blessing it was to have him as my Prophet. After that was my date. All I am going to say is that I had a very enjoyable time. I enjoyed spending time with this person and getting to know him a little better and his interests. And this date ended in a hug.

junk in the trunk

2008-01-29T14:46:00.000-08:00

Yesterday at work one of the residents who is a regular trouble maker asked one of the CNA's where she got her big butt. Let me give you some background on this resident. On my second day there I was walking down the hall with the maintenance guy. Well the resident wheeled up from behind pinched his bum and kept on going. He looked at her as to say I know it was you but she immediatly pointed at me. I couldn't look him in the face for days. She is always telling people to get out of the way, always asking if she can pinch so and so's bum. She is a regular crack up but when she asked this fellow co-worker where she got her big butt the room went silent. I tried hard not to laugh because I didn't know how the CNA would respond. Good thing she took it as the joke it was meant to be. I guess when you are old you can say whatever you want and get away with it.

Can I throw up now?

2008-01-28T17:58:00.000-08:00

Ok so normally I can do things and they don't bother me. But for some reason this one thing had my nerves all bunched up. What am I talking about you might be thinking? Well Yesterday in Relief Society I sung a special musical number. Now back to the beginning, I normally can do this and not get nervous but for some insane reason I did. Maybe because I felt so ill prepared. I practiced before church and felt confidant that I would and could do this and not feel sick. Then all of the sudden, right in the middle of Sunday School my tummy was doing flip flops. I thought I was going to toss my breath mints. While I was singing I could feel my knees knockin and my legs turn to jelly. Afterwards some of the sisters told me it sounded good. One said she got goosebumps, one told me she wanted to clap, one that was funny was that as she was listening she was staring at my lipgloss and thinking, "That is a pretty color and it is shiny." I guess I just need to get back on the horse and get over those nerves. I am ten times worse when I have to speak in front of people. When I was in the Fort Collins student ward the Bishop asked me if I was ok during my talk. I said yeah but I was just a little nervous. He said he noticed that because apparently the back of my dress was flapping hard and fast against my legs. I tend to grip onto the podium for dear life too. So the next time I give a talk look for the white knuckles and flapping skirt.

Insane Asylum

2008-01-24T14:53:00.000-08:00

My blood pressure got so high at work I got a terible headache. They really need to do something for the residents that are FREAKING NUTS!!!!!!!!!! Today was going all good until about the last hour. One resident in particular was driving me MAD! While I was charting he kept wanting me to show him how to use the bathroom. He was mad because there was another room that shared his bathroom. He kept trying to tell me that there were people watching while he was in there. I explained to him that that wasn't the case. He kept bumping into the wall and then yell at me to stop getting in his way. I wasn't. The seat that is in there is raised a little. He kept tripping over that too. Oh forgot to mention that this man is BLIND and is still walking around without using a cane. Crazy.... Anyway, he kept arguing with me so I just walked away and continued arguing. The good thing about arguing with a blind person is they can't tell when you leave the room. Later on the administrator was in there trying to explain to him too. Only when he opened the door to the bathroom for him he hit his head on the door. Whoops. He had to walk out too. You would not believe how many times I had to tell him to sit down on his bed. I went and got the nurse to see if she could give him some adovan or something to calm his agitation down but he was so worked up he wouldn't take it. And since it is against the law to hide it in a drink we had to suffer. This is the same resident who two days prior came walking out of his room in all his glory. He thought he was dressed. The man had on socks and shoes, and his hat and glasses hanging around his neck. NOTHING ELSE! I took him back in his room and set up his clothes so he could get dressed. 20 minutes later he is standing in the doorway with nothing on the bottom but shoes and socks. Had to take him back in and help him put his pants on. He said he had his pants on. My response was, " Unless your pants are see through you don't have any on." His response, " Well who all saw me?" Four CNA's and two nurses. But I didn't tell him that. Boy if I am suppose to be learning a lesson in patience these two days have sure tried it.

Amazing Woman

2008-01-24T14:43:00.000-08:00

So last night I decided to ditch chorale and go to enrichment. The guest speaker is a holocaust survivor. She first started out by telling us how her parents and grandparents were taken to Duckow. Once there they were separated into to groups of men, women, and children. She never saw her family again when she was taken. She was only three years old when this happened. She was there for five years. She told how she learned early on not to cry. She said that every morning they would get up and go to the trough to clean up and a little boy right beside her started to cry and the guard shot him in the side of the head. So not only did they have to wash off the dirt they had to wash off the blood of the little boy. This is the water that they also had to drink from. They would get hot water at noon with a piece of very hard dark bread. They would take it back to there baracks and soak the bread and when it was soft they would take it and put it in the cracks of the walls so they would have something to eat later on. They were sexually abused twice a week. By the time that she left she was 8 years old and weighed 25 pounds. She then lived in a convent because the nuns there took them in. There were 146 (I think that is the number she said) children that survived and today she is the very last of them. They either took their lives or died of other things. Since then she was diagnosed with colon, breast, stomach and most recently lung cancer. She married an american pilot in 1960 and lost him as a POA in Vietnam in 1964 Christmas eve. She raised her son by herself and never got remarried. In 1993-1994 her son died when his, "plane fell down." If all that wasn't enough she was also on the plane that was hijacked on 9/11. How much this woman has been through. Holy cow. She is 69 years old and when she feels up to it she runs 15 miles a night. This woman is truly amazing. She still has spunk. That is a good thing.

Drove me nuts

2008-01-19T14:51:00.000-08:00

So last night I went to the movies with Angela Johnson and Rebecca Perley. We saw 27 Dresses. It was a cute movie. I would recommend it. Anyway when we got there the parking lot close up was packed so I parked further out. I drive down the aisle and what do I find but a large mountain of snow that was piled there from the plow. When I parked there was no one around me. Now when we came out there was a car on either side of me and one in front. I thought that since I didn't have such a problem pulling into the spot I wouldn't have a problem getting out. Oh freak no that wasn't the case. It is a good thing I went to the bathroom before leaving the theater. So as I was backing out I was keeping an eye on the cars around me when CRASH!! Snow pile. So I just pulled forward and decided to back up and turn the other way. CRASH!!! Stupid snow pile. I did this for quite awhile. And was getting more and more annoyed as I was trying this. I thought maybe I would have enough space to pull through at an angle between the car to my left and the truck that was in front of me. No such luck. At this point I was getting frustrated. I was hungry and our next stop was dinner. Angela was going to meet us there. I thought at this point we were never gonna get there. Another thought popped into my already hurting head. I backed up hit the stupid snow pile, came back into the spot at an angle and continued doing that. I GOT OUT!!!!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!! My question is, who puts a freaking snow pile right in the middle of the parking lot? But then my other thought was, why did I park there in the first place when I could have parked a little farther down or simply pulled forward so all I had to do was pull out of the spot. All this was happening while Rebecca was having herself a chuckle. I have to admit that I was laughing too. I was also amazed that I got out of the spot without denting anyones vehicles.

Funny things

2008-01-14T14:23:00.000-08:00

Ok so on my way home from work today I got stuck behind this driver who thought the speed limit sign was just a suggestion. So I figured I would stay behind her. Otherwise I would have to breakt he law and pass on a double yellow line. She kept brake checking me. There was tons of room between us plus this little old lady was only going 15mph. When she thought I got too close she flipped me the bird. What it looked like from my car was she was showing me how her middle finger could make a number seven. When you get to a certain age your fingers go all different ways. My grandma's index finger points in. Anyway I had to laugh because while she was flipping me the birdie she was swerving and her arm was flying all over. Oh before the whold birdie she looked like she was trying to see my license plate. Unless she had super powers I was too far away for her. Old people driving make me laugh.

This is what I think

2008-01-12T11:16:00.000-08:00

Am I a fan of the writers strike? No of course not. With the strike going on I am not able to progress in the shows I enjoy watching. So I miss those shows? Yes but I can find other things to do. Someone I know is having a fit because they are also not doing any awards shows. I really couldn't give two cents. I don't like them. In fact I only watch them on the commercial of a show I am more interested in. I don't center my life around the award shows like some. They take too long.

OK another topic. Kisses.

I was asked the other day by a friend who wanted to know who I thought kissed better. Someone that plays a brass instrument or someone who either doesn't play or plays a woodwind. My honest opinion is someone who has/had plays/ed a brass instrument. I dated two different guys so I know both sides of the matter. The brass guys have to have more feeling to get noise out of their instrument. So that is what I think on that.

Yet another topic.

I laughed so hard at my mom today because after we got out of the car out of no where she said, " I don't heart so-and-so." I asked her why and she said she didn't like people who are argumentative just for the sake of arguing. Even when they are proved wrong they still continue to argue. Drives me nuts too but to have my mom say what she said cracked me up.

Talk about ouch

2008-01-09T14:39:00.000-08:00

So last night I was running and I turned a corner and that was when I heard the loudest pop. It was my ankle. Not just any ankle. The one that I keep injuring. It is the one that I broke the growth plate when I was a Freshman in high school. That one came from jumping on the trampoline with two male cousins at our grandparents 51 wedding anniversary. Of course I wasn't allowed to go to the ER until every last guest was gone. By then my cankle was humongeous!!!!!!!!! Think about the size of a canteloup. The x-rays hurt I wanted to kill the tech because they would move it in the most awkward of positions to x-ray it. Then they would ask the stupidest question on earth, "does that hurt?" Well let me kick you really really really hard and then ask you. Of course it did. Did my saying ow that hurts mean nothing? Got out of PE for 3 weeks. Anywho, back on track. The second time I fell off a ladder. I missed that last step. Mistake #1 going up on it in the first place. Mistake #2 wearing sandals. Mistake #3 wearing my glasses. I missed that last step and when I was on the ground our 250 pound Saint Bernard thought I was on the ground to play with him. Not very polite words flew out of my mouth at 10am on a Saturday. So I have come to the conclusion that this ankle needs to either be replaced or chopped off. All I am saying is that I am tired of injuring this particular ankle.

Something I learned

2008-01-06T15:46:00.000-08:00

So Yesterday was the first rehearsal for the musical. It was good. I thought we were going to run through all the music but nope we spent close to one hour and fifteen minutes on the opening and closing song. Hopefully next week we will get through more. I downloaded the music so the copies were readable. I had no idea that it was going to take so long. I had to find them then unzip them and then copy them to a CD. I thought I would never finish.

I HATE PANTYHOSE!!! So I was sitting in church today and everything felt in its place. But the moment I stood up my pantyhose felt like they were slipping. This happened everytime I got up. No matter how many times I fixed the problem they still slipped. I guess I move around to much when I am sitting. Anyway in Relief Society I wondered who invented them. First thought was a guy. Got home went to ask.com and asked. Who invented pantyhose? Lo and behold it was a man. A man by the name of Allen Gant Senior. Then leave it to a women to invent support hose. Julie Newmar did. She also invented super sheer. The support hose she called were super snug. Well duh. If pantyhose were something I could do without I would. If you want to read more go to http://inventors.about.com/library/inventors/blpantyhose.htm.

I hate being stuffed up. I woke up feeling ok then during church my nose just decided to close off. At least it isn't both sides. Breathing would be annoying then. It is just one side. But once that side clears the other stuffs up. I just hope that I am not getting a cold. I am such a crabby sick person. I whine and everything.When I had the flu I was home alone. I had no one to whine to. Well I did call them but that was different.

mindless ramblings

2008-01-05T12:14:00.000-08:00

This week has totally kicked my trash. I was off the week of Christmas. Having to go back to work about killed me. I was getting used to sleeping in not having to be anywhere if I didn't want to be there. Then having to go back to work made it worse. So Since I am in the Savior of the World musical I told my employer that I couldn't work Saturday's anymore and that they could take my middle of the week day off and I would work it. Let's just say that working 5 days straight wasn't bad when I had to be there at either 7:30am or 8am. But since I have to be there by 6am it is kicking my trash. By Tuesday I was tired. By Friday I was dead in the water. I thought well maybe I could sleep in on Saturday. Oh heck no. I had to be in Greeley at 9am and had to be at the stake center in Loveland to pick up the other two people that I am carpooling with at 8:15am. I crawled out of bed and the sad hour of 7:15am. Think I can take a nap this afternoon. Nope gotta do the regular Saturday running around. It is sad to say but I think I will be going to bed rather early, unless I get an offer to do something else. Kind of pointless to get a date but I just might go if asked. Yeah right like that would happen. I know, I know I shouldn't be so down on myself but I am tired. Maybe I should just shut down the computer and go take a nap before the Saturday activities begin or rather continue. I have spent the past 2 hours printing copies of music from the musical and trying to figure out how to get the music to download onto a CD so I can listen to it in my car so I can hopefully memorize it faster. Can I just say this is taking forever! FOREVER!!! I guess I will just have to wait. Finally. Yeah it is burning. All but one song fits. At least it is a song that I won't have to worry about.

Are you kidding me!!!

2008-01-01T15:04:00.000-08:00

So last night around 6:30pm I sent out text messages to some of my peeps to tell them to have a fun and safe New Years. I got tons of replies. Since i had to go to work this morning I went to bed before midnight. Sad and pathetic I know but cranky April is not the best. With my job I need to be rested or I can not only cause harm to myself but to my residents. In the middle of the night I heard a beep. Some putz sent me a text message. I of course just rolled over and went back to sleep. When I got up I checked it. There were three. THREE!!! All from the same person. Every single message the same. Let me just say this. I HATE SPAM SENT TO MY PHONE!!!! I have asked those that send it to me to knock it off but one person in particular doesn't seem to get the hint. I just might have to block that number. Who the heck sends text messages to people at 138am? I mean really. I can understand if they are drunk and drunk text or drunk dial but please not three times with the same message. Ok enough of that.

My cute little niece didn't make it past 7:30 pm. My mom was babysitting her while my brother and sister-in-law went out to dinner. Normally Zoey is wired until at least 8pm and then she gets prickly and wants her bath. But at around 7pm she crawled into my moms lap with her blanket and was ready for her bath. She has so much fun in the bath. She has some pretty rockin toys. When I give her her baths when I am watching her we sing the Rubber Ducky song. (yes I know all the words.) She bounces and dances along to it. Anywho, last night I went and got me some dinner and went home to watch a movie. I started watching this movie called, "The Outsider." It has Naomi Watts and Tim Daly in it. It was pretty good. I was waiting for it to be over because I still needed to shower. At around 8:15 I decided to go ahead and jump in the shower because the movie seemed like it wasn't going to be over until nine. Stupid thinking. When I got out of the shower the credits were running. I finally crashed at 11pm.

Oh my

2007-12-30T15:09:00.000-08:00

I decided to take the week of Christmas off just cause my job was killing me and I needed a break. Stupid car broke again. This time it was the brake line. Kinda need those. Well I wasn't too worried about it because I was off. Downfall, I had to rely on others to take me where I wanted to go. I was supposed to go back to work this past Friday but had no car. I called and told them that if they wanted me to come into work they would have to come and get me. Didn't happen so I had yet another day at home. TRAPPED!! You can only read so much, watch so many movies, play the piano for so long before your fingers get cramped or freeze. I was bored out of my freaking mind. So I called my dad and asked to borrow his truck. He said I could. Then Saturday morning on my way to work I was slowing down to turn and WHAM hit a huge piece of ice. Not only did I slide I spun around and around and around. I finally came to a stop when the back end was in a little ditch. I called work, which was a couple of blocks away to see if someone could come and help me. The little liar said no. So I rocked back and forth until I got out. Two rude people passed me and didn't offer any help. They were probably thinking that I deserved to be in the ditch because I was going too fast. I was barely going 15mph. Meany heads. Anywho, so once I got to work I signed in and noticed by my name "no call, no show" so apparently the phone call I made to see if someone could come and help me was for nothing. Good thing I have a sharpie and can mark it out.

Last night I went to a hockey game. We had five tickets so we needed to find two other people to go. Dustin was going to ask his friend Jesse to go but neither wanted to so then we asked my other brother Casey to see if him and his fiancee wanted to go. They didn't either. So I started calling around with my friends. Rebecca came. I called to see if she and her brother wanted to go but her brother had plans. So I called someone else. They were in Utah. Just getting off the slopes. Called another, now this was funny. So I called and asked if he had plans for the evening and he said he did, then he asked why. I told him and he sounded kind of bummed. Oh well. So then I called someone else and they too had plans. I had run out of people to call. I really need to get more guys' phone numbers in my phone. The girls that are in there probably would not of wanted to go. We had fun any way. The extra seat actually was a good thing since we had my niece. She played in it. She was actually really good considering that she is one and her bed time is 8pm and we didn't get out until close to 10. She did get a little crabby but she went back to daddy when she got that way. Nana couldn't even make her happy. When it is bedtime it is bedtime.

While there I was told that she sent a link to my blog to guy that I wrote about. I couldn't remember for the life if me what I had wrote but when I finally re-read it it was fine. A little embarrassing but alright. I guess it is my own fault for putting it on the internet. Oh well.

I have no clue

2007-12-10T15:27:00.000-08:00

So far the last couple of weeks have been ok. Been going to work and chorale and church. Sad I know but what is a girl to do when guys don't ask for dates? I can answer that. They sit at home watching movies. It is sad when we have to live vicariously through movies or books or whatever. I would much rather be out doing something. I know that I get tired because of my job but I still like to go out and do things.

This past Sunday I have decided that I am going to live my life to the fullest, screw what anyone thinks. In October my mom and I auditioned for a play that the two stakes are putting on and we had a meeting last night. We are in the chorus and are part of a six women chorus. My mom said that something like that is really outside of her comfort zone. I said I know but she has mentioned on more than one occasion that she wanted to get out and do something. Either a exercise class or a crafty class, just something different. Well being in a musical is different. At the audition they asked everyone one of they would mind either singing a solo or have a speaking part. I told them I didn't want that but then I threw caution to the wind and said sure bring it on. Last night a total different story. As they were reading off the names of those with speaking parts my insides were going nuts. I knew that if they read my name I would throw up. I didn't so that went away pretty fast. I am really excited to be a part of this. I have tried out for other productions but if you haven't known the director for years or been in other productions you didn't stand a chance. I think for those they hold auditions because they have to. They already know who is going to have what part. They just have to go through the motions.

Today when I was leaving for work my check engine light came on. So I went back inside and got my brother and he tried to look at it but really how well can you see at 5:45am? I mean really. We couldn't even get the hood open because it was frozen shut. So he took me to work and told me to find a ride home. I knew that Casey was off today so I called him and told him what the problem was and he came and picked me up and then took my car to the mechanics. Sad thing though is that I won't have a car until Thursday at the earliest. I really hate having to rely on people to take me places. I want my freedom back!!!

So the Colorado Mormon Chorale has one out of three concerts under our belts for the 2007-2008 season. We did pretty good. We just have the one in Golden and the one in Parker. The one in Parker is probably going to be really packed because they just seem to love us. Even the mayor who is not a member comes. Pretty cool.

Date night

2007-11-20T15:22:00.000-08:00

This last Friday was a date night activity. I went with Ken. He called and left a message that he wanted to ask me a question about the date night. I admire that he asked me to call him so he could ask me and not my voicemail. Well when he picked me up he came to the door. Very nice. I hate guys that just honk their horns. Not a hooker people! He opened my door and made sure I was in before he shut it. Very nice. Then when we got to the activity he opened doors and everything. When the date was over he walked me to my door. Awkward moment enter here... Since I didn't know Ken that well I had no clue as to how he would have reacted to a hug so after a quiet moment passed I shook his hand. Stupid I know but what was I to do? I later told some of my friends about the moment and they said that I should have hugged him. I didn't want to freak him out. He has brothers. My brothers are not the hugging kind. They get all weirded out when I say, "I love you." So I didn't want to chance it. I had tons of fun Friday night. Not just because I was out with a guy but he is one of the gentlemen guys who open doors and walk their dates to their door at then end.
Some of the girls I talked to said that they didn't like that a guy opened their doors and pulled out their chairs or helped them put on their coats. I actually kind of like it. One mentioned that she didn't mind them opening the car door when getting in but getting out she didn't want that. I can understand her point of being in a skirt. It is hard getting in and out of a car when you have a dress on and still be lady-like. But I like to know that there are some men out there that know how to treat the ladies.

what the

2007-11-06T15:55:00.000-08:00

Ok so I am really annoyed. Why is it when I was younger I wasn't allowed to have guys in my room let alone with the door shut. I would get reamed out for that. Well apparently that rule does not apply to the bros. Drives me nuts that there are standards for girls and another set entirely for boys. Not that I have to worry about having a guy in my room with the door shut. I would just be happy to have a guy.

When will it get better

2007-10-24T13:04:00.000-07:00

For the last little while I have been down in the dumps. I guess it started when I was knocked down to sing second soprano. Let me just say that I hate it with a passion. When asked for some reasons a lady from my own section sent me an e-mail saying that I was a DIVA, PRIDEFUL, using the Chorale as a stepping stone to my solo career. If I wanted a solo career I would have tried it. I am in the chorale simply because I enjoy singing and the feeling I get while doing so is awesome. She would tell me that if I wasn't careful Heavenly Father would teach me lessons I don't want to learn. I am by no means prideful of my talent. When I recieved that e-mail my first thought was to write back and yell at her with hurtful words. The written word can have a powerful effect but as I thought about it I decided to rebuff everything she said. I went paragraph by paragraph and gave her my thoughts on what she said. No where in the response was me saying "That is the pot calling the kettle black." or how ever that saying goes. I decided to be the bigger person. I didn't even mention this e-mail to the conductor of the chorale. My mom sent him an e-mail to respond to one he sent her about me. She gave him bits and peices of what she had said. She has since been trying to rub in my face that she is a first soprano and I am not. There are times when I would just love to knock that smirk right off her face but that would do no good. Violence is not the answer.

At work I am getting tired of management getting in my cherrios about stupid things. I have been looking for a different job that will hopefully be better. My personal life sucks. Dating is non-exsistant. I am really tired of being single. I am tired of all my married friends and those friends who are dating telling me to just be patient. That is no the kind of help I need. They tell me to join LDS Mingle, or LDS Planet or a few other dating websites. NOT HELPING!!!!!! Sometimes I think how much easier it would be if I wasn't LDS but then I remember that I would be lost without it.

Why oh why

2007-10-08T14:45:00.000-07:00

Why do people find that they have to constantly complain about their jobs? Yes I hate my job but I go every day and try to make it better. I love the residents that I work with but the people that I work with wear on me. They are mostly downers. All they talk about is what they wish they were doing. Drives me nuts. If you would rather be doing something different then by all means do it. I am looking for a new job but in the mean time I am doing my best with what I've got.

Last week I had a resident that followed me everywhere I went. It got to the point where I was asking people if they knew the words to the "Me and my shadow." song. No one did so I just whistled it. (would have hummed but with my allergies nothing comes out.) Well she fell the next evening and then she passed away. Made me sad. Yes it annoyed me to have shadow but now she won't be there.

Another why oh why thought is this... Why do guys not want to date me? It is getting bothersome. I see all my friends going on dates while I am sitting at home doing nothing. I like me time but for petes sake I want to get out and have fun just like everyone else. My mom thinks it is because I intimidate the guys. She says that I am independent and won't be pushed around. Well duh. I have had years of practice of standing up for myself. I guess that is what I get for having three brothers, younger I might add, and a father who was/is verbally abusive and decietful. I can take care of myself but can't have a family on my own.

Well enough boring stuff. I am off work now and enjoying the rest of my day.