What the crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have no idea where to even begin...Lets just say that I feel like the ugliest person in the world who is this sad pathetic loser who can't get what she wants or yearns for. I know I will probably get calls about this but I really don't care it is my blog and I will say what I want. First off, all my life I have been told it shouldn't matter what you look like on the outside. It is what is on the inside that counts. One word. CRAP!!! People are so superficial that they can't look past the outside. All they see is fat, thinness, or scars, or whatever there might be on the surface. They don't want to take the time getting to know someone. If I went by looks alone I wouldn't have met some of the wonderful people who are in my life. People who have what they want have no clue to what those of us that are struggling for it go through. I know they have struggles of their own but still. They don't know what it feels like to be passed over for the person standing next to them. The person who is prettier then them. They don't know what it is like to feel like they don't matter. Even my brothers have made comments about my singleness. Here they are either married, engaged or dating and their older sister is nothing. I hate feeling like this. I hate knowing that there is a possiblity that it will never happen for me. I hate having a leader, a person I look up to, tell me that maybe if I cut my hair guys would be more interested. That is just like telling me, " Oh your too fat for me or your too ugly I don't want to be seen with you." Thanks for that. Like I don't already feel that way. I know it is wrong to feel so insecure about these things but seriously, everywhere I turn it turns into the same thing. I don't want people to feel guilty I just want them to look past the outside. Is that too much to ask. I even went to a Single Adult activity and put myself out there to no help. Sometimes I feel like being LDS is what makes everything harder. I sometimes think that if I wasn't things would be alot different. But then I know that I would feel like something is missing. I would have a whole different load of problems. I am working on reaching my goals, my weight, my education, my life, my health, but sometimes when things like this happen I feel like it isn't worth it. I feel like I am lower then the dirt on someones shoe. Why do I let things like this get to me? I was born that way. I was born with compassion for others. I was raised to look past the outer wall of a person. Well there it is people, the thoughts in my heart as of right now. If you are going to stomp please be gentle.