MoTab and such

Since I had to work the day of the MoTab concert we got a little late start heading to Red Rocks. We did however make it there with plenty of time. Once we got into the area for parking I noticed that the brakes on my car were screeching rather loudly. Fabulous, almost 80 miles from home. Two of my three brothers were in Idaho for the week dirtbiking and the other still at work. I chose to not worry about it and have faith that we would get home safe when the time came. So after we parked we discovered we had a trek ahead. I had never been to the Red Rocks venue so I had no idea what was in store. After walking up a hill I noticed that there was a massive amount of steps that had to be climbed. Are you freaking kidding me?! We had to stop every other set to take a breather. These were not regular steps oh no, they were a little bit more steep then normal stairs. Once we got to the top we looked at out tickets and thank goodness we were in row 17. We climbed the last few steps and victory we were at out seats. After a brief rest I went to the food stand and got us some food. Not fabulous but whatever. Once the concert started my eyes were glued. I discovered that this concert was going to be awesome and there were going to be tears. One of the best things is that President Thomas S. Monson was there. Wow was that awsome.

All the songs that they performed were wonderful but when they started singing Come Thou Fount, I really kida lost it. That is one of my favorite songs. I love singing it because being a first soprano and getting to sing those high notes is what I live for. I feel like I am a bird and flying as high as possible. It makes my spirit soar. My heart flutters and emotions flow.

When it came time to leave the trip to the car wasn't as annoying as the trip up. I guess it was because it was downhill. When we got to my car I said a little silent prayer to get us home or at least somewhere close to it. We made it home. But I could slam on the brakes so I had to be extra careful with my driving. The next day I had to take my moms Jeep to work and she took Dustins truck. I called B.J., the brother who was home and asked if he could check my brakes. I had to carpool with Amy on Wednesday and Thursday. She works 7-4 and I 8-5. I of course had to come in early. Getting up an hour earlier is not fun when you had play rehearsal until close to ten the night before and not getting to bed until well after eleven. On Wednesday I was tired, not having a good day. Found out a friend got engaged, one had a baby and another started dating someone, and found out I had to get new brakepads and rotors on my car. I was done with the day. I just wanted it to be over. I went to bed fairly early. Woke up around 11 wondering why the neighbors were still lighting off fireworks. I was ticked off. I was cold so I decided to shut my window only to discover the that "fireworks" noise was actually rain. Whatever. On Thursday night I gave my brother a blank check to get the parts. By Thursday night I had my car back. yeah. Friday morning I was able to sleep in.

Since my mom had an appointment to get a pedicure out at Centerra I decided to drop her off and then go shopping. I got my Jonas Brothers 3D movie and then headed over to Bath and Body works to buy Amy's birthday present. We were going to see a movie after she was done but we changed out minds. We went out shopping later.

On Saturday we went to B.J.'s house for a BBQ/Birthday party. It was fun. Then the raiin came pouring down. Never in my life has the Loveland fireworks display been cancelled but with the heavy rain it was looking like it just might happen. NO!!!! We all went home for a bit, Zoey needed a nap. She decided to come to our house to take her nap. After her chocolate milk she was out. Around 6 we went back to B.J.'s to wait out the rain and hope that the fireworks were still on. At 8pm the rain had stopped and the sun was trying to peek out. Yes, we all got in the truck and headed toward Lake Loveland and found our spot to watch the fireworks. After that we went back to B.J.'s and lit off some just for us. Well B.J. being the pyro we all know and love bought a balck cat thing a few years ago before Zoey was born. He figured that since it was so wet and people were still leaving the park and such we were safe. Oh and the neighbors were lighting off was more illegal fireworks then us. He lit it and it was off. It was loud and almost never ending. Well one part came near us and Zoey being just cute and have to laugh said," oh S#$%" yup loud and clear. It was a good ending to the week.

Holy Moly

Crazy is the theme of my life at the moment. I started out spring looking for a job. All because I stood my ground. I am tired of people thinking that they can walk all over me. I am not like some women who let people walk all over them and make them do what they want them to do. I have a voice and I am using it. I changed my phone number because I finally had had enough harrassing phone calls from my father. I realized that I can control it. First step was changing my number. When and if I am ready to talk to him again I will but until then I am doing this for my sanity. I don't know why things were done. I can't read minds. For one thing I shouldn't be involved in the goings on of the divorce. I am the daughter and I will not be forced to choose sides. I am tired of the emotional and verbal abuse I recieved. I have felt so much relief since i took that first step into gaining control.

This past month, along with my mom we decided to audition for 7 Brides for 7 Brothers that is being done at the local dinner theater. We both got in. I am Mrs. Bixby and my mom is Mrs. Perkins. So far I have five or six lines. Not just little lines but full sentences. I am gonna try not to throw up. All the other plays I have done I have been in the chorus. In the Music Man I had was one little three word phrase. Not this time. No siree. So now we have rehearsals once a week until the middle of July and then after that two or three times a week and then the performances are Friday, Saturday evenings and Sunday afternoons. They have doubles for most of the cast so we won't have to be at every performance.

This last week my mom and I went to the Jonas Brothers concert at the Pepsi Center. It was so much freaking fun. Their stage was in the round and it was massive. It turned. The center where they came up could be turned into a trampoline for tricks and the water wall that they had was unbelievable. It rained hearts and words and other designs. Truly awesome. I don't really care if people think I am too old to like their music. I am beyond caring what others thinks about things that I choose to like. Music is such a huge part of my life. If it moves me and I enjoy it than that is all that matters. They put on a great show. Their opening acts were Honor Society and they are different but I like them. Also Jordin Sparks was there. She is just awesome. Her single Battlefield rocks. I won tickets from Verizon after I had already bought my own. I tried every one I knew to give them away. They either couldn't go or they were not fans. So I took them with me with the intent of finding someone to give them to. I was going to find someone who was on the upper level to bring them down to the first level. No such luck. Sad to say that two good seats went to waste. I bought the tour book, two lanyards and a necklace. I gave one of the lanyards to my mom. She had just as much fun as I did. She went with me last year for the Burnin Up tour. We are going to make it a yearly event as long as they keep coming back to Denver.

Since it is summer the Colorado Mormon Chorale is taking a break. We go back at the end of August. We are doing one performance at the end of July but that is with songs that we know like the back of our hands. One of the songs I get to play my flute. I used to get nervous playing in front of people but now I don't. I stay focused and let it all go. I do that with singing to. Now speaking in front of people that makes me shake. No idea why. We get to sing the National Anthem at one of the Colorado Rockies games in September. We get to be in center field. We get told every year that we are not allowed to walk on the chalked lines. We have to step over them. They get upset if you do. Can't mess of the foul-line now can you?

This coming Monday my mom and I are going to Red Rocks Amphetheater to hear the Mormon Tabernacle Choir perform. The last time we saw them was at the Pepsi Center. It was I think 3 or 4 years ago. It is just fun to hear them. Listening to music is just so much more fulfilling when you listen to it live.

Little Zoey is 2 1/2 now and boy is she a handful of energy. She loves getting her fingernails and toenails painted so when she is getting cranky she follows Aunt April and we go paint them. she secretly loves the cotton balls I put between her toes. She had even mastered walking on her heels. She is such a performer. I have a little microphone that I got in a happy meal once and she brings in a step-stool from the kitchen and stands on it and starts singing. Her favorite song to perform is the itsy bitsy spider but someone has to do the actions. She loves Five monkeys jumping on the bed but hasn't quite grasped the concept of counting down as one monkey falls off. In her mind the one that fell off just gets back on. Such a performer.

Sweet sweet summer

I haven't blogged in quite sometime. Twitter got to me. I know I am not the only one to have that happen. Crazy crazy crazy. So I am no longer working at my old job. I am working at a temp job until I find something more permanant. Not my idea but I need to work. In less then three weeks I will be going to my second Jonas Brothers concert. So excited. I have floor seats and they are close. My mom is going with me again. Then we have the Mormon Tabernacle concert at Redrocks. I can't remember the date but it is coming up soon. We have had tickets for that for quite a while. It should be awesome. The last time we saw them was when they were at the Pepsi Center. I have changed my phone number too and have given it to trusted people via their e-mail. Got tired of stupid harrassing phone calls. I am in control. I have no clue what else to blog about.

Great Book

I haven't blogged in so long I thought that I would put a little blurb of something. I finished a book last week that was just awesome. It is called the Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo. It was an easy read and it is a book about following your dreams. Normally I wouldn't read a book like that but it was mentioned tons of times so I thought that I would give it a try.

Finally some relief

So for the past almost years my parents have been working out details of the divorce. When this all occured I told my parents that I will not be put in the middle. I didn't want to know what was ticking off the other. My mom, bless her has kept to this rule, my father has not. He is ticked because my mom will only talk to him through her attorney. I really don't blame her because everytime he would call he would start yelling at her. I never really understood why she just didn't hang up on him. But then she said that if she did she would get yelled at even more when he got home. My dad has the world snowballed into thinking that he is a good man and he was wronged by the divorce and that it wasn't his fault. Proof one, he had been cheating on my mom. When caught he said that he met up with her because he saw her at the store or some other ridiculous story. The lady that he is now married to has been divorced or widowed, I have no idea nor do I really care, is just as snowballed as the rest of the world. He likes to play the poor pitiful me my children hate me. Damn straight we do. How can you love someone who loves you only on the condition that you do what he wants when he wants it done. For example, if we didn't mow the lawn his way he would yell at us. Who cared that it was done it just wasn't done his way. stupid stuff like that.

Anyway last Wednesday he calls me and starts out all nice and then he asks me to have mom give him a call. I told him that she wouldn't call him. He wanted me to ask anyway, so I did and of course she said no. He wanted me to call him back and give him the answer. Well I had chorale that night and didn't get home until late and I didn't want to call him. The next day I totally forgot about it. When I got home I had a message and he said, " Well I guess you are going to be playing the same games as your mother. I am not going to say anything else because I know that you will let your mother and he attorney listen to this so thanks for calling." what an ass. I called him and ripped into him right off. Give him a taste of his own medicine. I am after all his daughter. I layed into him for a good five minutes telling him what I really thought of him and this whole situation. I told him that I have asked on so many occations for him to not talk about the divorce or drag me in the middle. He can ask how mom is doing that is it, end of discussion. But he wakes up to a new day every freaking day. He got ticked because none of us kids dropped what we were doing when he had a "heart attack" in April. None of us knew about the fake attack until three days later. He didn't like the fact that I called him on it. His brother could have called he lives there, his new wife could have called or even his mother could have but nope he thought he could use that incident as leverage later. Idiot. Then he started in on Dustin and saying how he never calls him. Well no crap sherlock, why would he call someone who told him he was worthless, and he was a disappointment, and that he was no son of his. Oh and not a man. That broke the straw, I ripped into him like no other. I told him that if Dustin wasn't a man than why did he help a friend that was kicked out of her house with nothing but the clothes on her back? This MAN went out and bought her a couple of outfits and made arrangements for a place for her to stay while her parents cooled off. He never asked for payment of the clothes. Nothing he helped out of the kindness of his heart. This MAN was 17 years old when he did this. I told my father that Dustin was more of a man then he will ever be. He said that he provided for his family. Yes he did but when he came home everyone dreaded it. Whenever he was home he was always, and I mean always yelling or angry. There were times when we feared our safety. Looking back now I am surpised at how lucky we actually were to get out of there alive and in one piece. He thought I had hung up on him and one time and I told him I wasn't even nearly done. I told him that I have had to get blessings from my home teachers or my bishop because I knew deep in my heart that he wasn't worthy to do that. I remember one time where I was just going to be meeting with my bishop and the second I walked into his office he said he had a strong feeling to give me a blessing. I am so happy that I have worthy priesthood leaders in my life that I can count on. I pretty much told my dad that he was a worthless father who was never there when it really counted. I know it was very harsh to say but it needed to be said. I have never slept so well in such a long time. I really needed to let him know how I felt. My mom thinks that I should probably talk to someone about everything. She thinks it will help me move on and know that the verbal abuse and emotional abuse was not my fault. I guess I will have to see.

Updates

O so someone asked me why I haven't been blogging lately. Well to tell you the truth I have been just so freaking busy I haven't had time. When I get home and check my e-mail I find other things to do instead of blog.

Here are some updates on what has been happening since I last posted on Halloween. I am still at my job so that is a bonus. I had the day after Thanksgiving off so I was able to do some black friday shopping but I didn't start until after 11am. I new what I wanted and there were no spectacular deals to get my lazy bum out of bed before the sun came up. I was excited to have that day off because I haven't for the past three years. Medical workers don't get holidays off like the rest of the world. I also had the day after Christmas off so that was fun. I think I had fun just watching the crazy people shop and fight for things. For Christmas we went to my aunt and uncles house in Franktown as we do for all major holidays. It was fun.

Sad stuff, as some of you might or might not know my grandma Steving, mom's mom, has alzhiemers. She was diagnosed shortly after B.J. and Amy got married in 2004. We have since put her in a nursing facility in Greeley. I have been lucky enough to work 5 short minutes from there so when I get a chance I go and visit her during my lunch hour. Most times when I go there she recognizes me but can't remember my name. That sucks but I totally understand. Well the Wednesday before Christmas I got off work early so I decided to go and see how she was doing. She had absolutely no clue who I was. I broke my heart. Normally I am sad when I leave but this particular visit hit me too hard. I pretty much ran to my car and broke down. Good thing I didn't have to go back to work because my make-up was all smeary. I called my mom and told her. Let me just say that crying and driving is not safe so don't try it. Just like crying and trying to sing. It just isn't pretty. My mom made me go with her that Saturday and she was much better. I just need to get used to the idea that there are going to be times when she has no clue. This is the disease she had said that she never wanted to get because you are essentially trapped in your own mind and can't communcate like you use to. I know by looking in her eyes that she is still in there and that she knows who I am and that I love her. I just hate seeing her like this. I just have faith that my Heavenly Father is with her. (whoo crying and typing not pretty either.)

I have been put on probation for a promotion at work. I was hired as a Administrative Assistant and have since been doing work as a Billing Specialist. So I am in a probation period. I was told that I couldn't complain and I had to be nice to the co-worker who gets on my nerves like no other. So far it has been two weeks and I have been nice. She has too so it makes it tons better. I have been having fun phone flirting with a guy that works out in the shop. He is a mechanic. Downside, he drinks, and today I found out he smokes. My co-worker told me that she wouldn't let me date him now because he smokes. She thinks that smoking turns to chewing tobacco. I think he does that sometimes too because when I go out there he has a mouthful of sunflower seeds. I never planned on dating him I was just passing boring time at work. Working on my flirting skills. I think I am getting a little better.

I have decided as a new years thing to not care what people think about me. I am going to do my best to do what I want for myself and to make me feel better. 2009 feeling more comfortable in my own skin. Screw what everyone else thinks.

I hope that this is a good update for you. I will try to blog more often but I really can't promise.

Oh before I forget, on Saturday I went to my B.J.'s house to give him a CD for his computer and Zoey was watching country music videos, (she learned a song that swears so no more top 40 for her) well she was watching a Dierks Bentley one and I asked of she was watching a cute guy and her response was no...hot. That made me laugh. She sure is going to give B.J. a run for his money when she gets older that is for sure.

Holy Cow! Wait BULL!!!!

So I am driving to work yesterday minding my own business jammin to the tunes coming out of the speakers when I come up over a hill and come face to face with not just a cow but a big freakin BULL! I had to slam on my brakes to avoid hitting the massive animal. I tried to slowly go around it but he put his head down and looked like he was going to charge. A bull fighter I am not but I have the brains enough to stay still. By this time there were more cars back behind me and in front of me. Even one idiot got out of his car to try to shoo it back to the field. Yeah like that is going to work. He lived only because someone else distracted the bull so he could get back into his car. By this time I was getting annoyed. Where was the bulls owner? I have to get to work. We tried honking horns but that just seemed to piss it off. Some other idiot tried yelling at it, pissing it off more. Finally after what seemed like hours a state patrol officer came to the scene. Again he tried shooing, honking and yelling. aparently if any of those worked we wouldn't be in this situation. After twenty more minutes of that stupidity someone with a tranq gun shot it and down went mister bull. Oh it took a couple of shots but it finally went down. Let me just say that I now have to find yet another way to work.