When will it get better

For the last little while I have been down in the dumps. I guess it started when I was knocked down to sing second soprano. Let me just say that I hate it with a passion. When asked for some reasons a lady from my own section sent me an e-mail saying that I was a DIVA, PRIDEFUL, using the Chorale as a stepping stone to my solo career. If I wanted a solo career I would have tried it. I am in the chorale simply because I enjoy singing and the feeling I get while doing so is awesome. She would tell me that if I wasn't careful Heavenly Father would teach me lessons I don't want to learn. I am by no means prideful of my talent. When I recieved that e-mail my first thought was to write back and yell at her with hurtful words. The written word can have a powerful effect but as I thought about it I decided to rebuff everything she said. I went paragraph by paragraph and gave her my thoughts on what she said. No where in the response was me saying "That is the pot calling the kettle black." or how ever that saying goes. I decided to be the bigger person. I didn't even mention this e-mail to the conductor of the chorale. My mom sent him an e-mail to respond to one he sent her about me. She gave him bits and peices of what she had said. She has since been trying to rub in my face that she is a first soprano and I am not. There are times when I would just love to knock that smirk right off her face but that would do no good. Violence is not the answer.

At work I am getting tired of management getting in my cherrios about stupid things. I have been looking for a different job that will hopefully be better. My personal life sucks. Dating is non-exsistant. I am really tired of being single. I am tired of all my married friends and those friends who are dating telling me to just be patient. That is no the kind of help I need. They tell me to join LDS Mingle, or LDS Planet or a few other dating websites. NOT HELPING!!!!!! Sometimes I think how much easier it would be if I wasn't LDS but then I remember that I would be lost without it.

Why oh why

Why do people find that they have to constantly complain about their jobs? Yes I hate my job but I go every day and try to make it better. I love the residents that I work with but the people that I work with wear on me. They are mostly downers. All they talk about is what they wish they were doing. Drives me nuts. If you would rather be doing something different then by all means do it. I am looking for a new job but in the mean time I am doing my best with what I've got.

Last week I had a resident that followed me everywhere I went. It got to the point where I was asking people if they knew the words to the "Me and my shadow." song. No one did so I just whistled it. (would have hummed but with my allergies nothing comes out.) Well she fell the next evening and then she passed away. Made me sad. Yes it annoyed me to have shadow but now she won't be there.

Another why oh why thought is this... Why do guys not want to date me? It is getting bothersome. I see all my friends going on dates while I am sitting at home doing nothing. I like me time but for petes sake I want to get out and have fun just like everyone else. My mom thinks it is because I intimidate the guys. She says that I am independent and won't be pushed around. Well duh. I have had years of practice of standing up for myself. I guess that is what I get for having three brothers, younger I might add, and a father who was/is verbally abusive and decietful. I can take care of myself but can't have a family on my own.

Well enough boring stuff. I am off work now and enjoying the rest of my day.